Holy shizz this guy is ugly. This Monster UV reactive mask is gonna be the perfect way to terrorize my neighbors. UV stands for ultra venereal, which as we all know, makes you glow like a radioactive freak and spreads from your weiner to your face. Huh? Ultra Violet? What the hell is that? Is that like Blu-Ray? Cuz I’m still rockin’ the VHS tapes.
Tag: bizarre
Gross Ear Magnet
Does your fridge have gross ears? It will now, thanks to this Gross Ear Magnet. Is that a zit? Or some other disease? I wanna pop it so it squirts everytime I open the fridge. I’m talking one of those long distance squirts that gets all over the bathroom mirror. Maybe I’ll talk into it before I open the fridge. “You better have two slices of pizza and some fried chicken in there or I will box your ears!”
Make America Great Again – Politician’s Heads in Jars
Little Jars of Horror make all kinds of scary heads in jars, but the best are the politician’s heads in jars. Politicians. AKA psychopaths. They are the most terrifying! Their heads are usually up their own… But now they all have their heads in jars. I’m surprised they fit. You can choose from Obama, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, Bernie Sanders and more. These are truly terrifying. I hope that none of them get elected, cuz I don’t want to see any of these guy’s jar heads on a podium, giving a speech.
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Pick A Winner Booger Soap
Hope you pick a winner. Ya booger. This Pick A Winner Booger Soap shines a bright light on that disgusting habit you have. Picking your smell-hole for slimey green nuggets. I don’t know about you, but I usually wait until late at night, then flick ’em at the wall. Which explains why I go to bed with a white wall and wake up to a speckled green one. DIY room makeover. Take that one HGTV.
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Why Not? Stackable Animal Fetuses
Stackable Animal Fetuses. Why the hell not? They are like building blocks I guess. The building blocks of life. Meet rhino fetus, elephant fetus and hippo fetus. Hippo fetus is the worst. That fatty is always leeching vital nutrients and minerals from the others. I don’t know. Put ’em on your desk. Stack ’em on top of each other. Spin ’em like a top until the fetus is dizzy. I just have no idea here. I’ll have to gestate on it for awhile….
I’ve decided that they are the “in” thing right now. In utero!