This is the Skull Chair With Crazy Crystal Eyes that I’ve been waiting for so I can be a villain who tries to take over the world. Petting a cat is mandatory when sitting in this chair. As is a shark tank. And I don’t mean that stupid show where people invent stuff. I’m talking great whites. I am the man in charge now biatches!
I’ll sit with my back to the door so the skull eyes can hypnotize my enemies when they enter my lair.
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OpheliasChest makes some pretty terrifying jewelry. I for one, have never seen OpheliasChest, cuz I look her in the eye. I’m a gentleman. I also still have two black eyes from the last time I got caught looking at some boobage. Is it a little nippy in here or is it just me? Anywho, check out these Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers. They also have matching bracelets. These accessories are horrifying, yet awesome. I hope those eggs don’t hatch a facehugger, cuz that’s an accessory you don’t want any part of. No one wants their face hugged off. You hear my Aunt Sue? And your kisses are all slobbery and gross.
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These Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces are pretty scary. You can choose from the three shown in the image or you can get them all cuz they tell an awesome story from left to right. That story is as follows: Once upon a time there was a dead girl with long hair. Then she put her hair up. Then got bitten by some nasty teeth. The end.
I like long haired girl the best and that’s not just because I skipped to the end and read the last page. I just like my skeletons with long hair that’s all. Nothing wrong with that. Even if I bring my own wig. Perfectly acceptable. No big deal.
This Black Skull ring is badass. Like Biker dude badass. I bet it gives you super powers too. *Puts ring on. Beard pops up on my face and grows ZZ Top length. Denim jacket forms around my body. I smell the stink of a thousand miles of road with just 20 miles of shower. I AM A BADASS.* Now all I’ll need is a trashy biker babe to ride with. Well, not that trashy. Recycling trashy, not food filled hefty bag with a week old diaper trashy. Be nice if she had a few teeth too, but that may be asking for too much.
Please don’t hunt me down biker gangs. I love your hairy fly-ridden women.
Can you even wrap your skull around this Gothic Black Leather Skull Journal? It’s all creepy and spooky and full of skulls. Kinda like a cemetery that way. A cemetery for your deepest darkest thoughts. Bury them inside and close them like a casket as you snap the cover shut. Wow. I’m getting pretty dark. Good thing no one will ever see what I wrote in there. Pssst! *Beckons you closer* No one must ever know.
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