Unhand my books Cthulhu! You tentacled tyrant! These Cthulhu Wood Bookends are ironically not the ends of books at all, but rather a tentacled monster to hold up your books. Some people are confused easily, so had to point that out. Better get one of these and get Kraken on your reading? Get it? Kraken? I know, lame. But this thing won’t look lame on your shelf. It’ll look badass and Cthulhu-y.
Tag: bookends
Human Head Bookends Put Your Brains Where Your Books Are
Put your money where your mouth is, by putting your brains where your books are. These Human Head Bookends put their brains right up against your books. Too bad I still won’t remember what I just read. I have a photographic memory. I only remember stuff if I photograph it. *Picks up Polaroid of the inside of the refrigerator* Yep. I better get groceries.
The only downside is that the photo I thought was just a cool selfie of a handsome guy holding a camera, was actually a photo reminding me to get film. I couldn’t remember anything for like a month, which I spent in the fetal position crying. Until I found another selfie of me in the fetal position, with a note that said, “This has happened before, it will happen again. Man up biatch! Look in the cupboard.” And that’s where I found more film. Yay!
Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends
Oh, now I know who’s been running away with my books. I should never have bought those Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends. I think I just saw them running in the other room with all my good books between them. Get back here you jerky turkey! This is why I have chicken wire around the house, to stop exactly this sort of thing.
Read more “Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends”
Gold Skull Bookends
These Gold Skull Bookends look pretty awesome cuz they’re shiny. Also cuz I just want to put some crazy eyes in those sockets. And I know you have a better book collection than these two books shown here. They look like cool ancient idols. *Stands before them. Wiggles my hands, loosening them up. Gently lifts one skull so my books don’t fall down. I smile and go to put the idol in my satchel. A mechanism clicks somewhere. Rumbling starts. Giant boulder comes down from the ceiling and chases me. I barely make it as I jump through my front door.*
You see why these are awesome? Again! Again!
Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends
This pair of Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends is the perfect place for all of my UFO and unexplained stuff books. I’m always researching. Gotta beat him at his own big feet game. One day I’ll spot him and take a picture that will make me rich. Look at that couple holding hands and pointing up at that book. They have no idea that he is on the other side. What a bunch of rubes.