Tag: bookends

Awesome Octopus Bookends

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Awesome Octopus Book Ends
What you are seeing is not in fact an Octopus who turned to stone and was then cut in half. Although that would be pretty friggin’ rad man. Gnarly even. Maybe tubular. It’s not talk like a skater day? Oh well. *Rotates hat to the proper orientation and chucks skateboard behind me as glass shatters.*

No, this is a pair of Awesome Octopus Bookends. Hang on. I sense your confusion. Same thing happened to me. It’s actually for books that are whole and intact. Not just for the ends of books that have been sawed off for whatever reason. That would be silly. I knew that and didn’t have to google it. They go on the ends of your book pile, see. It’s actually a brilliant idea.

Confession time: Someone once asked me for a pair of bookends so I tore out the last page of War and Peace and Gone With The Wind. Boy did I feel like an idiot.

Metal Bats Bookends

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Metal Bats Bookends
“Bats”. By me.

They hide in your belfries
where they like to take selfies.
They fly in your hair
and give you a scare.
They like to make guano.
and hate U2’s bono.

That was “Bats”. By me.

Check out these cool Metal Bats Bookends. It puts bats all up in your belfry. No guano. Unless your books are really bad.

Spiderweb Bookends

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Spiderweb Metal Bookends
Spiderweb Bookends. I already have my own. It’s called not reading and allowing spiders to decorate. The webs hold my books in place, while all of the dead flies aka spider juice boxes insure that I will never ever touch a book again.

I would listen to books on audio, but I got spiderwebs in my headphones too. What? I don’t use my stuff a lot! And once the spiders get to it, I ain’t using it. And I can’t listen to the books I like out loud, because they usually involve the Scottish Highlands, a dashing open-shirted rogue and the enchanting young maidens who fall for him.

Bookends That Attack

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bookends
You can’t have books without having some bookends to keep them all organized. Unless you are me and you use canned vegetables, because you’re cheap. What else am I gonna do, eat ’em? Anyway, if I eat that can of corn, my entire Game of Thrones book series is going to fall. Not that I read it. TV made it so I don’t have to read it. Anyway, did you know those books are like 500 pages? And they don’t even have a single picture of a dragon inside?

Anyway these awesome bookends from KnobCreekMetalArts all feature various attacks, with your books caught in the middle. Everything from tentacles attacking pirate ships, to dinosaurs trying to eat people, to aliens abducting people. Who needs to read the books when the bookends are so exciting?

Read more “Bookends That Attack”

Zombie Survival Guide Books And Knives Bookends

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

Zombie Survival Guide Books And Knives BookendsThese Zombie Survival Guide Books And Knives Bookends are a perfect way for you to take a stab at your own book collection. It’s a pair of zombie survival books that have been knifed by zombies who don’t want you to know how to survive.

The knives are pre-bloodied too. Don’t let your books get all disorganized. These bookends are a good reminder that the zombie apocalypse is coming. Be ready, don’t be dead-y.