Well you don’t see that everyday. A Mermaid Cat. Or should I say Meow-maid? The kitten of the sea! This Meow-maid is the cat’s whiskers. Too bad Meow-maids won’t help you clean up your house while you’re at work all day. That would be a Meow-Maid worth hiring. Whatevs. I’m down with the Catness. I’ll take two and hang them in an aquarium with some wire, so it looks like they’re swimming.
Tag: crochet
Big Butt Buddy Crochet Pattern
This Big Butt Buddy Crochet Pattern is exactly what it sounds like, a big crochet butt that will be your buddy.
Why you cheeky little-
Just talkin’ ’bout Butt Buddy.
You know what that means right?
Yeah, my buddy who is also a butt.
You mean your butt buddy?
Sure.
Ohhhhhh. Now I get it. Whatevs. I’m man enough to admit that me and my heinie homie are butt buddies.
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Predator Crochet Mask
Quick. Get to da chopper! No you idiot, not the motorcycle with da long front wheel, de heli-chopper! *Predator stabs me through the back and rips out my spine.* Thanks for clarifying Arnold. Next time be more specific. I mean chopper could also mean blender for Christ’s sake. You want me to run toward a blender? Thanks for ending my life with your less than clear advice! *Dies*
This Predator Crochet Mask is scary and crafty as hell. Experience the softer side of Predator. And if you are in the jungle and running from Predator, be very clear about what you are shouting. Lookin’ at you Arnold.
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Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper
Tired of friends leaving sweat rings or drink stains on your tabletop? No worries. Try these Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper. Just lay them out when you have company and these little clenched up Cat butts will keep your surfaces clean.
Keep them away from that one guy. You know, that one guy everybody knows, who has to be the joker and like, starts pushing M & M’s through the pink knitting in the center. He’s all like, hey look at this guys. He gives a chocolate suppository to the coaster and embarrasses everybody, so that you regret even inviting him over. Yeah, sadly I am that guy.
Hand Crocheted WWII Tank Slippers: Tanks For The Warm Feet…Pew Pew Pew
Pew! Pew! Pew! My Tank slippers sank your battleship. That’s what you get for wearing battleship slippers on desert themed carpeting. The tanks are gonna win every time. Let me throw you a lifeline and I’ll tow you to safety. Get it? Tow you? Toe you?
You’re welcome! Oh I thought you said tanks for the joke. My mistake. I’ll tread more carefully. Are you even getting all of these awesome tank jokes? Whatevs. I’m gonna go make some Rommel Ramen noodles and chill.