This is not your grandmother’s cross-stitch. I know, because I asked mine about this Krampus Cross Stitch and she screamed bloody murder and started ranting about the Christmas Devil. Then banned me from visiting her again. The legend of Krampus must include a trip to the Doctor’s office cuz he’s always sticking his tongue out, waiting for the doc to take a look. Open up and say ah Mr. Krampus. Hmmm have you been getting enough sleep? I would ask you for a pee sample, but last time we tried that, your pee of fire melted the sample cup and nearly burned down my office. Let’s just call it the flu shall we? Good? Good. See the receptionist for a prescription.
Tag: decor
Leather Gothic Skull Journal
Check out this classy Leather Gothic Skull Journal. Classy. And sassy. You can use it as a diary, a journal, a notebook, whatever. That skull clasp is totally bones man. And I’m totally into leather too. Leather me up, that’s what I say. I love cow hide, nagahide,sometimes I like to run and hide. Cuz I’m crazy like that. Can you tell that my “medicine” has kicked in. Whoa man, I am in for a wild ride tonight. If I had one, I would write all of my adventures in this thing. But I don’t, so it looks like I’ll be writing another toilet paper publication novel this evening. I just write like crazy as I pull the roll, then reverse roll it up and set it on the bathroom shelf with my other works.
Vampire Bat Door Knocker
What could be more welcoming than a Vampire Bat Door Knocker? That’s the kind of house I would walk up to and say, “Nice knockers!” and mean it. Gonna need a door mat to go with my door bat though. So Gothic, so spooky.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat-choo. I’m a bat with a cold! Which means I can only take Nyquil, not Dayquil. Cuz I’m a bat see? I’m also batsy!
Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody
Hey toady. You grody. To the max! This Toad Horror Art Doll is what happens when you think you’re a princess kissing a frog, but really you’re kissing a nasty toad. Hate when that happens. Look at that face honey child! I done toad you it was fugly. That tadpole turned a tad ugly. At least she’s all dressed up to meet a nice young man. Even though she never will. You can’t win if you don’t play.
Speaking of which, these scratch off tickets really suck. I’m almost at the end of this brick of 500 and I’m still broker than an ugly toad girl. I’m playing! I should win! WTF universe! WTF!? I don’t want to be writing this blog forever and looking at Princess Toadstool over here! She looks like toad stool alright!
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Amityville, Friday the 13th, Nightmare Elm Street Horror Crossroads Sign
Let’s see. Which way do I go? I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. This Amityville, Friday the 13th, Nightmare Elm Street Horror Crossroads Sign will guide the way. Although I don’t think you are going to like any of your destinations. I’m just turning back. Seriously, you have fun with whatever you choose. I’m gonna go take a nap or something.