It’s never too early to start planning your Christmas tree. This year I’m gonna let a dinosaur and Jesus duke it out with this Dinosaur and Jesus Christmas Ornament set. It’s the fight of the millennium. The ultimate smackdown. It’s dino vs deity! The Jurassic vs the Jesus! Who am I kidding? It lasts about 3 seconds and ends with Jesus hurling a meteor. He learned that trick from his dad. That’s dinosaur pest control in action.
Tag: dinosaur
Weird Art Prints- Faux Taxidermy Cameos
These Weird Art Prints- Faux Taxidermy Cameos from LuxCups are fun and freaky. I would totally wear them, but I can’t, because they’re prints. You have your shark in a suit (Must be a lawyer), a nun with a dinosaur head, Godzilla as a priest and more. I wish I could get these guys as action figures.
I’m weird like that, but that’s why you and I get along. I bring you the weird and freaky stuff, you bring me warm fuzzy feelings. Nevermind. Didn’t realize I was rubbing the fuzzy dice hanging from my computer. OUCH! Never mind. It was a pair of bees! Damn my bad eyesight and your furry hides!
Anyway, the point is we’re all good, you and me, but if it’s a parasite host relationship kind of deal, I’m pretty sure I’m the parasite. Just sayin’. No need to flush me out of your bowels or anything though. I’m the good kind. Of course, that’s just what a parasite would say, isn’t it? I guess you’re just gonna have to trust me. We got a mutually beneficial thing going on here.
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Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture
Sweet! There’s a raptor in my garden! I put in a rib-bone as a seed like 2 months ago and it’s finally growing! Yippee! I can’t wait to take him on long walks and wait for him to go pee-pee on fire-hydrants and scoop up his dino poop. I’m gonna call him Craptor, cuz he craps so much. Wait a minute! Craptor’s not moving! What’s wrong boy? OH NO! CRAPTOR NO!
*Tears* He was so young. Fresh out of the dirt. *Sniff* Oh well. I guess he can just be buried where he’s at. Jk everybody. It’s just an awesome Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture. Craptor was never alive. Except in our hearts. He will always be in our hearts.
T-Rex Toilet Paper Holder
When I’m taking a Jurassic dump, I like to reach into the jaws of a mighty T-Rex to get my toilet paper. This awesome 3D printed T-Rex Toilet Paper Holder will make you roar! Of course that could just be the mighty roar of you battling your Stega-Sore-ass to get your stuff out. Seriously, fiber! I can’t stress that enough. Anywho, this TP holder will hook you up even if it’s coming out like a raging diarhea volcano. Which coincidentally is what killed the dinosaurs in the first place. True story. Mass (colon) extinction event! Look it up.
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T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks
T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks. This dinosaur lighting accessory will provide a Jurassic spark to any room. He he he. Jurassic spark. They are made with repurposed painted plastic toys, making them awesome. They look like major awards that you could win for being the coolest dinosaur ever. Which is why I have so many.
Every year a paint a dinosaur gold, walk down my own red carpet, present one to myself and give a teary eyed speech. This year was special. I sawed a donkey in half, spray painted the butt-end gold and gave my self “The ultimate half-ass award” cuz I never do anything all the way.