Tag: raptor

Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture

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Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture
Sweet! There’s a raptor in my garden! I put in a rib-bone as a seed like 2 months ago and it’s finally growing! Yippee! I can’t wait to take him on long walks and wait for him to go pee-pee on fire-hydrants and scoop up his dino poop. I’m gonna call him Craptor, cuz he craps so much. Wait a minute! Craptor’s not moving! What’s wrong boy? OH NO! CRAPTOR NO!

*Tears* He was so young. Fresh out of the dirt. *Sniff* Oh well. I guess he can just be buried where he’s at. Jk everybody. It’s just an awesome Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture. Craptor was never alive. Except in our hearts. He will always be in our hearts.

Newly Hatched Baby Raptor Jesus Egg

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Baby Raptor JesusHey, if they say it’s baby Jesus hatching out of an egg, who am I to argue? I am ready to worship you, my fetus bodied, raptor headed god, sitting on your eggshell throne. How may I serve?

Yes master. *buzz* I shall get the DNA of your raptor relatives and clone them at once. *buzz* You shall have a mighty army. Just as soon as I get this fly. There he is my lord. On your nose. *Crack/squish* Oh s**t. Can you hear me raptor Jesus? No? Damn.

Psst.

What do you want Satan Clamcake? *hold out your hand boy* Okay. Sweet. Thanks for the thirty pieces of silver. Is this enough to buy a PS4?
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Venomous Vulture Raptor Chick Hatching From Egg

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Venomous Vulture Raptor ChickYou see this crazy-ass little monster here? This is why you either eat eggs or you stomp them into dust in the wild. Never collect eggs. Sooner or later, something is going to hatch out of that egg and kill you. Yes, even silly putty eggs! Not gonna go into that story here, but f**k silly putty! It should be called traumatic childhood trauma putty!

Anyway, if you like crazy stuff busting out from an egg and eating your face off, this Venomous Vulture Raptor Chick is for you. It is the work of an ebay taxidermist/mad scientist who never sleeps. And now, neither will you, if thing enters your home. This hatchling is made from western diamondback rattlesnake & domestic turkey chick parts. Cool. So basically the same stuff the FDA allows in Chicken Nuggets.

More images below.
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