Tag: dinosaur

Life Sized Velociraptor Hatching From An Egg

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Life Sized Velociraptor Hatching From An Egg
Jumping Jurassic Jeepers! A Life Sized Velociraptor Hatching From An Egg. This thing is going to look awesome in my living room. I’m gonna put a little top hat on him. A life sized dinosaur is better than a tiny one, cuz you don’t want to step on it. Then what you’ve got is a Ve-splosh-ciraptor. It’s also a real Jurassic mess to clean up.

This guy or gal is freshly hatched from his egg, with some added egg birth goo stuff. Nice touch. Man, if we were the Flintstones, we’d be buying these by the dozen and frying up dinosaur eggs with Brontosaurus burgers. But it isn’t. All we eat are lousy chicken eggs. I want to eat an egg from something that can kill me. Oh yeah, salmonella. Never mind. This guy was just born and looks like he already wants to kill you.

Hatching Dinosaur Candle

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Hatching Dinosaur Candle
This Hatching Dinosaur Candle is adorable. Things hatching from eggs are always cute. Except cockroaches. F them! Seriously. Look at that little guy just breaking free from his egg. Is that a T-Rex? Cuz he totally T-Wrecked that egg! Sorry about that bad joke. I wasn’t gonna type it, but it was a Jurassic lark.

Anyway, candles that are also dinosaurs hatching? Dreams do come true peeps. This is the whole life cycle in one candle right here. Egg, lit candle, dinosaur lives for awhile, then dinosaur is engulfed in flame and melts. Life and death. It really makes ya think about how precious life is. How fleeting. We should all be kind to-

*Ding*

Pop Tarts are ready! Woo-Hooo. Later peeps.

Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton

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Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton
Get yourself a Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton. Without having to dig it up from your back yard. Or like I did, tunneling under my own house so I can check my neighbor’s yard for fossils. To bad about the sink hole that lowered their roof to ground level. That was just coincidence. I only removed like 3 Wooly Mammoth skulls and a full T-Rex.

On the bright side, now I can do motorcycle jumps from my yard onto their roof, wearing an Evel Knievel jumpsuit and a dinosaur skull for a helmet. Well, not anymore since my cycle is now lodged half in their living room and half in their basement.

This Dinosaur Dress Is Dino-Mite

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dino dress
Nothing says fashion like two dinosaurs on either side of your bosom. There are 3 dinosaurs if you count the wearer of this dinosaur dress. Cuz girl, you are a Leg-O-saurus Rex. I bet she has a nice Jur-ass-ic park in back. If a girl ever gives me the time of day, I hope it’s her.

Let’s play Jurassic poker. I call. What do you have. Only a pair of twos. I have a full house. *Throws a sponge meteor at her.* Looks like your kind is extinct. Better lose that top!

Awesome! Now I can wear it.
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Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex

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Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex
Remember that scene from Titanic where Jack paints rose? Well, now you can remember it in a whole new way. With a T-Rex.

Paint me like one of your French girls Jack.

Sure, why not? If you wanted some hair under your arms you should have just said so. Let’s give you a baguette under one arm too and put a mime in the background. And a glass of wine. Have I missed any French stereotypes? Hmmmm, let’s give you something to surrender to. Like a giant asteroid that will wipe out your entire species. Yes Rose, I can do that. Love you Rose. Now show me one of those dinosaur boobies.