Tag: dog

Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2

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WTF
Damn. I guess Alpo ain’t working out for this pooch. And neither is Rogaine. When I first got a glimpse of this I said to myself, “Self, this is either a freaky acne-riddled business man in a dog suit doing some weird bondage thing or a man-dog representation of the herp come to warn us about unprotected sex.” I’m still not sure which is right, so I’m just taking their word for it, that this is Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Seems legit.

It looks like J. Edgar Hoover meets Baron Vladimir Harkonnen from Dune.
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Nightmare Before Christmas Zero Life Size Glow in the Dark Sculpture

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Nightmare Before Christmas Zero Life Size Glow in the Dark Sculpture
This Nightmare Before Christmas Zero Life Size Glow in the Dark Sculpture looks like that dog from that movie, from that guy with the weird hair and weird wife, that he just divorced cuz his heart belongs to Johnny Depp.

What up Zero? Why so negative? It’s like you are null and void. Empty. Nothing to say? Well, thanks for nothing.

Get it? Because zero.

Whatevs. It’s almost 9 AM. Oh Danny boy….The booze, the booze is calling…

Werewolf Dog Muzzle

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werewolf muzzle
Nice doggy. Who’s the nice doggy? GOT DAMN! HE TOOK MY ARM OFF. *Points with the index finger I have left* You are not a nice dog!

This Werewolf Dog Muzzle will make your dog look like a Werewolf. Hence the name. Fluffy or Fido will look like they are transforming during a full moon and ready to rip some flesh from your neck.

Put a muzzle on that dog.

Okay I did. Happy?

No, please. Take it off. That thing is terrifying. Why would you put that on a wiener dog? That’s just wrong.
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What the Pug?: Crazy Animal Sleep Masks

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animal sleep masks
appendageaccessories sells all kinds of cool animal masks, which are perfect for your secret animal identities. I know I have a secret identity when I sleep. I wear the Pug dog mask. He goes by the name of Pugsy Malone and likes to chew on old shoes and pee in corners and play humpy time with stuffed animals. Until the wife hits me with rolled up newspaper. That’s how I know it’s time to actually sleep. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I get the rest of my life when I wear that mask.

Sometimes I’m the cat and I stay up all night meowing, with the occasional poop and pee in a box, only to wake up and find that my keys and wallet were in there.
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Ringpet Turns Your Pets Into 3D Printed Rings

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Ringpet Turns Your Pets Into 3D Printed Rings
Turn your pet into a 3D ring! A company from japan, called RingPet wants you to wear your pets on your fingers. Just register on the Ringpet website and upload a few photographs of your pet taken from various angles and Ringpet does the rest.

Does ringworm count? I was rocking ring-worm long before it became fashionable. I’m gonna send them pictures of my cat, Mr. Fluff N Stuff. Then I’m gonna order like 10 rings and have two sweet sets of Kitty brass knuckles. You mess with me you incur the wrath of 10 vicious Kitties on two fists of furry. I mean fury.

Who am I kidding? I’ll probably just put on a finger puppet show for the cats in the neighborhood. I like to give back. They have given me so much. Fleas, cat scratch fever, poop on my floor…