Tag: dog

Dog Pajamas: A Woof in Sheep’s Clothing

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dog sheep pajamas costume
Is your dog perpetually sleepy and also a nerd? Etsy seller RebelWag sells dog pajamas. For dogs. Like this sheep costume/pajama thing here. I’ve never bothered counting sheep at night, but then again, I’ve never had a dog that dressed like one.

Dammit Spot! That was too fast. Now try it again and this time jump over the bed slower so I don’t lose count. And bark when I say the number. I’m trying to fall asleep here. “One sheep.” woof! “Two sheep.” Woof……

Woof.

Shut up. Trying to sleep here. Lousy sheep-dog!
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Lion Pet Wig

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lion mane dog wig
Turn your dog or cat into the king of the jungle with this Lion Pet Wig. Other animals will cower to your pet at the dog park. I’m thinking about wearing one myself. It might make me the alpha-nerd in the comic book store. I said I wanted issue #1 NOW! Roarrrrrrr. *Collects myself* Thank you and have a nice day. But mister- I said good day sir!

In the jungle, the mighty jungle a nerd sleeps tonight. Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh.

Victorian Dog Candles

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etsy victorian dog candles
These beeswax candles from Etsy seller Darknessvoid are Dogs in Victorian dress. Do you smell the wax that they’re burning? Lifting their leg on? It’s a dog eat dog world. You might as well have some high class dog candles to like your way.

These are for the sophisticated dog lover. Not for the likes of you and me who let our pooches run around the dog park humping anything and everything. More for those types who carry dogs in handbags and tell the butler to clean up fifi’s poo with the gold plated family pooper scooper.
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Herman Hammerhead Dog Poo Bag

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etsy handmade dog poo bag holder
Herman Hammerhead loves poo. He is a dog doo doo bag who actually looks fairly terrified at what he does for a living. He is the perfect accessory for those long dog walks when fifi has the runs.

Herman Hammerhead honestly hates horrible heated hemmorhoids. Ha. They all start with H. Now I feel like I’ve accomplished something today. Other than 10 complete games of solitaire and continued unemployment. Take that, “The man”! And my fifth grade teacher who said that all I would ever be was a “Professional Jackass”!

It’s like he traveled into the future and read the blog!

Dog Butt Toilet Paper Holder

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dog butt toilet paper holder
Leave and never darken my towels again! “How dare you sir?! My butt is cleaner than a dog’s butt! Don’t believe me? Have a look at this Dog Butt Toilet Paper Holder. You can’t get any cleaner than the orifice from whence the actual TP comes from, my good man. Never question my cleanliness again. Sorry about the towel. Some zout should get that stain right out.”

The Dog Butt Toilet Paper Holder. Nothing says class like a dog butt flossing with some heinie paper. I feel like the tail should wiggle though, cuz you know that dog is happy as a Floss-ton Terrier. Or should I say a Boston Derriere?

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA Stop me before I pun again!