Damn girl. These Custom Ouija Board Heels are looking good. You are definitely communicating with my spirit. Oooooo baby, move your planchette all over my board. Ask me anything. I’m not sure if they will fit you though. Are you a medium? That’s just a little paranormal joke. These shoes have soul baby, but when you put your feet in them, they are sole crushing. Get it?
Tag: etsy
Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses
Whiskey. It’s what’s for dinner! That probably explains why my liver is the size of a- Wait. Where’d it go? Got so small it disappeared. One more drink outta bring it back. Check out these Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses. They have the opening lines of the books right there on the glass. Pretty cool. Now I can get literate while I’m getting s**t-faced. AKA s**t-erate! They have Frankenstein and Dracula. Hopefully they will add more so I can catch up on my reading while I’m pounding one back.
The Shining Redrum Horror Skirt
Hmmmm. I wonder what this The Shining Redrum Horror Skirt is all about. Hint: It’s about murder spelled backwards like a hundred times. Ladies, buy this and then always stand in front of a mirror when your husband is around. Don’t say a word. It will freak him out. Make sure you pack this if you ever travel to the Overlook hotel too. This skirt will be murder on your style. No, really. Redrum! Redrum!
Human Teeth Cufflinks
Sure, you could wear Human Teeth Cufflinks to a fancy event… Or you could just make them on scene, which is the method I prefer. Usually I just punch somebody in the mouth, and hide in the closet with the unconscious and now toothless victim while I am attaching teeth to my cufflinks with a hot glue gun. Then I snap my cuffs, adjust my tie and leave like James Bond. I’m all about the instant DIY.
Then when I leave I find the same guy and punch him again and hot glue them back in his face, cuz I always give back. I’m not a dick.
Gravestone Desk Clock
This Gravestone Desk Clock is cool and all, but I can’t have it on my desk, cuz I would feel like I have to get everything done by 6 O’clock, cuz that is RIP time. On one hand I can rest at 6, but on the other, I’ll be resting forever. Plus, this clock would only be good for one day, then at 6 I’ll be pushing up daisies. Then people would be leaving flowers and stuff at my gravestone clock for the rest of the night. So this clock is a tough sell.