thegeekgarden wants to cover your butt in Horror and I’m not just talking about all that butt-acne you’ve been ignoring. Hey, me too. It’s like sitting on one of those bumpy sea-urchins. I’m talkin’ Horror Movie Underwear. Check out Freddy Krueger gettin’ ready to slash dat ass. The best one is that kid from The Shining though, riding his big wheel into dat ass crack. You go Danny! Ride like the wind.
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Tag: etsy
Maggot Mugs – Drink Up, Then Upchuck
Damn, I’m parched. I am so ready for a nice refreshing drink. Serve it up! Hey, what’s this? A Maggot Mug? *Retches violently.* Yeah, I think I’ll just stay thirsty thanks. *involuntarily pukes directly into Maggot Mug and looks down into it.* That seems fitting right? Nothing else makes sense in this mug. Now excuse me while I dry heave for an hour.
From WillinAndChillinArts. I think they forgot illin.
Gothic Raven Necklace
I’m giving this Gothic Raven Necklace to someone, but not because I like them. It’s cuz I want to give them the bird and also cuz I lost my bird-giving fingers in an accident. The accident was letting that guy see me flipping him the bird. So he made sure my birds never took flight again by bending them back. My birds are in casts. Oh, they’ll fly again. And when they do it is going to be majestic.
This Area 51 Wood Sign Does Not Exist
I’m gonna hang this Area 51 Wood Sign outside of my room so that no one will disturb me while I’m reverse-engineering UFOs and doing remote viewing experiments. Pffft! I remote view all the time. It’s not like I can channel surf without a remote. Duh! Anyway, that stuff is all classified. I’ve said too much. My room does not officially exist, but that’s mostly cuz it’s my mom’s basement. Gotta go. There’s a telepathic abducting butt-pirate in a cage and he owes me some answers about a warp drive in exchange for a Twix bar.
Edward Scissorhands Heart Necklace
This Edward Scissorhands Heart Necklace is the perfect accessory. Oh Edward, please be careful. You have my heart in your hands. *snikt. snikt.* And there goes another Valentine’s Day corpse that Edward has to dispose of. Never give your heart to a dude with scissor hands. Soft plushy hands maybe. Never scissor hands. What, are you crazy? What did you think was going to happen? Scissor hands are sharp. Come to think of it, how does he even pee? No way he has a weiner at this point!