Tag: etsy

Vincent Price Cameo Necklace

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Vincent Price Cameo Necklace
Vincent Price! Come on down! You are the next contestant on the Price is righttttt! Would you pay any price for a Vincent Price necklace? The price would have to be right. And it is. Even I can afford this and I eat Ramen noodles every night out of sippy cup. It separates the noodles from the MSG juice. That way I have both my meal and a nice drink. Consider that a lifehack peeps! And with that I’m outta here.

If Vincent was born a triplet, he’d be Vincent Thrice. If he were twins, he would be Vincent Twice. Just a little food for thought.

Losing My Religion… and My Lunch – Infected Crucifix

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Losing My Religion... and My Lunch - Infected Crucifix
If you have an Infected Crucifix like this in your church, you really have a health hazard. Would it kill ya to at least spray some Windex on everything, oh I don’t know, once a century? Cuz I know the bacteria and germs on this thing WILL kill ya. This will be the first time ever that a priest has to be called in to perform an exorcism on the cross itself. Actually, I’m pretty sure this is the cross that creates all demons and bad things in this world, while also smelling putrid, like the puss smell of a thousand zitty butts, when all the zits burst at the same time. Lunch? You lost it.

This piece really grosses me out. Why have you shown me this lord? Why have you cast my eyes upon this? What is the message?

*Booming voice* Because you have an infection you idiot!

Oh….

Is it my weiner? Please don’t let it be my weiner.

Waaaa waaaa waaaa. This is the thanks I get for trying to warn you? Nothing but complaining! NOW it is your weiner!

Oh boy! Starting to feel the burn. Is it too late for some hail marys and a confession?

Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers

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Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers
OpheliasChest makes some pretty terrifying jewelry. I for one, have never seen OpheliasChest, cuz I look her in the eye. I’m a gentleman. I also still have two black eyes from the last time I got caught looking at some boobage. Is it a little nippy in here or is it just me? Anywho, check out these Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers. They also have matching bracelets. These accessories are horrifying, yet awesome. I hope those eggs don’t hatch a facehugger, cuz that’s an accessory you don’t want any part of. No one wants their face hugged off. You hear my Aunt Sue? And your kisses are all slobbery and gross.
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Spider Queen Cape

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Spider Queen Cape
Holy venomous f**k! My spider Queen. At last I found you. Let me kneel before you and present you with your Spider Queen Cape. Remember me? I was at the ball that night and we were dancing when the clock struck midnight and you ran for your carriage, dropping your spider cape. I knew that one day I would finally find the woman who fits into it perfectly. So what do I call you? The Queen mum? Spider Queen? Mother of spiders? Her royal highness? I really dig the whole superhero spider theme. Hey, nice web-sack. You’re keeping fit I see. *Smacks the royal booty and it explodes into thousands of spiders.* I see you’ve started having children without me. Laterz. *Runs*

Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set

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Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set
Really enjoying my Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set. Every night I light these bad boys and pray. Dear God, please don’t let Frankenstein’s monster find my house. Or his wife. Please don’t let the mummy invade my dreams and suffocate me by wrapping me in his bandages while he turns into my doppelganger and lives my life. Just keep me safe k? Thanks.