Tag: etsy

Awesome Cat Candle Holder

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Awesome Cat Candle Holder
This Cat Candle Holder is both scary and amazingly awesome. He has his bat-cape whirled around him like he…just…don’t…give a flying monkey turd. He knows he’s badass, and now you know it. Whatcha gonna do about it? Well, I’mma put a candle in this thing and let him light up my room. That’s how I roll. Is it a bat or is it a cat? He has the body of a cat, but the attitude of a bat.

Probably plays with string for hours and then goes and hangs upside down for a nap, dropping his guano in his litterbox from the ceiling.
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Taxidermy Mice and Bats Torture Chamber Display

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Taxidermy Mice and Bats Torture Chamber Display
Mice and bats are mortal enemies. Everyone knows this. Their crazy-ass feud is illustrated nicely in this Taxidermy Mice and Bats Torture Chamber Display. Check out that brown mouse, holding a bloody sword pointed at the white mouse who is trapped in a hanging cage! He’s all like, “You better talk and talk soon, cuz I came to eat cheese and kick ass. And I’m all outta cheese.”

Pretty crazy. When will this war end?
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Freddy Krueger Baby Soap

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Freddy Krueger Baby Soap
1, 2, Freddy’s scrubbin’ on you. 3, 4, better lather some more. 5, 6, better clean your d**k. Like a lot of this stuff, I have no idea what this Freddy Krueger Baby Soap is all about. No wonder Freddy went nuts. Can you imagine being a little soap baby and having to wash everyone’s privates? Gettin’ pubes all over you? I would turn into a freaky killer too. Freaky.
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Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets

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Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein's Monster Magnets
Those are some ugly monsters. Which is exactly how I like my monsters. Ferocious and fugly. These Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets will roar at you every time you open the fridge. I’m just assuming that’s where you’re gonna put them. Although I shouldn’t assume because that makes an ASS out of U and ME. I’m used to it, but I’m sorry I made an ass of you. Let’s kiss and make up. Smootches. Sorry I used tongue.
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Custom Spiked Skull Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Custom Spiked Skull Necklace
This Custom Spiked Skull Necklace is hardcore. Perfect for Biker chicks who are in the “Spiky Skull Gang”. Your bike could be all spiky to match, with a spiky leather jacket and spiky hair. Your name could be Spiky. I can’t wait to check out your motor-spike-cle. Sike! I mean spike! Nobody messes with the Spiky Skull Gang. Except for the Spite-ty Skull Gang, but they’re just spiteful. I think I had too much caffeine. My caffeine level spiked. Haha. That was one last joke. Like I spiked the ball over the net!