Tag: etsy

Leather Human Skulls

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Leather Human Skulls
Hey leatherface. What’s up? These Leather Human Skulls are pretty cool. I could be…per-suede-ed to buy one. Get it? See what I did there? That’s such a bad joke, you should tan my hide. Uh-oh. Did it again.

These skulls started out as lace, believe it or not, but one day they were singing, “Give to me your leather, take from me, my lace.” And that’s when shizz got real. Used to be lace.Now are leather. Stuff like that happens with Stevie Nicks witchcraft songs.
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The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket

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The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket
This The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket looks warm and cozy. You know what the sleeping rituals of Cthulhu are? Well, he likes to spoon, he likes to be spooned and gyrate his hips, sleep on his side with his knees up so he’s poking you with his knees, sometimes he curls up in the fetal position and sucks his thumb. Those are the rituals of the great tentacled one. Stay warm my friends.

Votive Ghost Candles

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Votive Ghost Candles
When there’s something strange in your neighborhood…who ya gonna call? Ghost candles! These Votive Ghost Candles are all scented with various pleasant scents. Unlike real ghosts who mostly smell like rotting flesh and death. Reminds me of that time I cut two eye-holes in a blue sheet and walked around town daring Pac-Man to eat me while I threw dots all over the place. Booze is a wonderful thing. You know what else is wonderful? Bail money.

Coffin Lipstick Holder

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Coffin Lipstick Holder
Is your foundation to die for? Does your mascara look murderous? Is your lipstick the balm? Embalmed? Then get the Coffin Lipstick Holder and let your makeup rest in peace. This is perfect for the creepy girl who has nowhere to store her many shades of black lipstick.

Remember girls, when you kiss a guy all over his face, he shouldn’t come up for air looking like a coal miner. Then again, how else is he gonna find a diamond like you? I know, I’m so sweet. Kiss away ladies. I’m available. Looks like it’s back to the coal mines for me. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Denture Necklace

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Denture Necklace
Time to have a denture adventure with this Denture Necklace. Ohhhhhhh gummy! Now when I need a top set cuz I’m trying to chomp down on a Burger King Whopper, I can just grab my necklace and shove ’em in my face. Like those librarians that have their glasses on their necklace, just more disgusting.

Nah. I would never do that. I’m just teething teasing.