Tag: etsy

Life Size UFO: Take Me To Your Leader

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Life Size UFO Take Me To Your Leader
Hello Earthling. This is my life size UFO, which is totally rad and stuff. Don’t touch the paint. Take me to your leader. I really need to do a number 3. Better call a hazmat team. I had space chili earlier. You know what they say about space chili. It scratches that itch, but the ride home’s a biatch.

You gonna take me to your leader or what? I just Blarted in my space suit! You don’t know what that means, but trust me on this one, back up like 20 feet and don’t approach the impending crater for 24 hours.
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Zombie Head Magnets

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Zombie Head Magnets
Are all Zombie Head Magnets present and accounted for? Let’s take a head count? Who’s the head zombie here? Oh, you’re all heads. Nevermind then. Carry on. I’m gonna head out now. No offense. You all are welcomed for the heads up.

Put these magnets on your fridge and scare people so they don’t steal your food. Your fridge will look good, but don’t let it go to your head. Ha! I got one last head joke in. You needed another like you need a hole in the head, but still.
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Spiderweb Bookends

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Spiderweb Metal Bookends
Spiderweb Bookends. I already have my own. It’s called not reading and allowing spiders to decorate. The webs hold my books in place, while all of the dead flies aka spider juice boxes insure that I will never ever touch a book again.

I would listen to books on audio, but I got spiderwebs in my headphones too. What? I don’t use my stuff a lot! And once the spiders get to it, I ain’t using it. And I can’t listen to the books I like out loud, because they usually involve the Scottish Highlands, a dashing open-shirted rogue and the enchanting young maidens who fall for him.

The Zipper Choker Necklace

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zipper choker necklace
Gonna buy this Zipper Choker Necklace for my wife. She’ll get all choked up about it. Or maybe choke me. You never can tell. Everytime she wears it I’m gonna be all like, “XYZ. Examine your zipper.” I might even call her zippy. Depends if she’s in a punching mood or not.

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah
Zip-A-Dee-A
My oh my, what a wonderful day.

Pregnant Lady Mug

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Pregnant Lady Mug
I didn’t do it! Don’t look at me. I was just sipping my morning coffee. It looked like normal mug when I started. Took a few sips and BOOM. Baby bump. Now it’s a Pregnant Lady Cup. Great. Now I’m gonna have to be responsible for several little baby cups. I can’t even take care of myself. Guess I’m gonna have to move back in with mom and dad. I think she trapped me, but what can you do?