Tag: etsy

Crazy Food Marionette Puppets: Watch My Hot Dog Dance!

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

Crazy Food Marionette Puppets
These crazy Food Marionette Puppets from pocketlamps are awesome and freaky. I wanna get one just so I can make my wiener dance around and sing. Maybe put on a one man show. I would call him Wiener Schnitzel. It would be the worst. Bratwurst! The reviews would say, “That is one hot dog!” and “I relished the whole thing.”

There’s also a Hamburger and a pretzel. I gotta go write my script. I am gonna bring Broadway crashing to it’s knees and weeping to make it stop.
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Sarah Squid Seems Sad

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Sarah Squid Seems Sad
Sarah Squid Seems Sad. Maybe she’s mad, I can’t tell. I’ll say this. She’s well dressed for her period. No, I just mean she’s dressed in period clothing. Not saying it’s that time of the month. Although, judging from that grumpy look… Am I right guys?

*Gets slapped by a suckered tentacle and knocked to the ground.* No, I’m just saying that style is period appropriate, you know- *Smack. Gets face full of squid ink.* Hey that ink is red. You really are- *Smack!* Staying down this time ma’am.
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Spider’s Lair Necklace

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Spider's Lair Necklace
This Spider’s Lair Necklace is awesome. That spider has the perfect lair. Boobies! Is your name Charlotte? I was just admiring your web. I would love to have a lair like that. My lair is all empty Mountain Dew cans and cheese puff packages.

Sometimes I sit real quiet and wait for my prey to enter my messy web. Then I wrap it up in a cheese puff cocoon. It’s a game me and my cat play. I like it more than she does.

The Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar

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The Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar
That thing you have in your kitchen? That’s not an advent calendar. This is the Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar. I gotta stop right here. Time out. I admit, I have no idea what advent calendar means, but my fifth grade education wants to say it involves adventure and time. The answer? DOCTOR WHO? Am I right? Do I get to take a ride in the TARDIS? No? Well, screw you too BBC. I would make an excellent companion. I’m leggy, elegant, always up for adventure, look great in a skirt and I can work a sonic screwdriver like a pro because it’s all about the wrist action and a confident motion when the Doctor puts it in your hand.

Uh… Is everyone as creeped out as I am right now? Yeah, I can totally see why the BBC wouldn’t choose me. I need to use words better.

Look, all I know is that it’s fun to open doors and see what the next Halloween surprise will be. Is that it? That’s what an advent calendar is? I feel kinda let down to be honest.
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Sleep (Not So) Well Light Switch Switchplate

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Sleep (Not So) Well Light Switch Switchplate
This Light Switch Switchplate tells you to sleep well, because you will likely be dead in the morning. I find it comforting, but that may just be because that’s the same thing my wife says every night. She crazy.

Pro tip: If what happened in Vegas really stayed in Vegas they wouldn’t have wedding chapels. Trust me, what happens in Vegas? Sometimes you bring it home. Because you don’t have enough pain and misery in your life.