Turn your Christmas tree into a Krampus tree this year. And every year! These Krampus Angel Tree Toppers from SphyrnaEffects are the demented decorations you want. He just wants to sit on top of your tree looking all menacing and mean. Man, I hope he’s not too mean though. You don’t think he’s gonna poop all over my gifts do you? I mean, I guess I don’t mind little bird like poops, but I don’t trust him. I think he’s got a full yule log in him and the urge to build a log cabin.
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Tag: etsy
Krampus With Child Statue
The Krampus With Child Statue makes for a classically horrifying bit of Christmas decoration. Damn Krampus. Control yourself and get your tongue back in your mouth. You gonna throw that sacked up kid in a lake or drown him with your saliva? Poor kid. Look at him. He’s all dressed up with his good shirt, has a tie on, little guy wanted to look good for Christmas. Then this happens. You know the bottom of that sack is full of poop too, the only question is how much.
Crazy Creepy Monster In The Keyhole Journals
These Monster In The Keyhole Journals from Etsy seller MilleCuirs are giving me nightmares, but that may be just because I like to peep through keyholes. C’Mon that’s what they’re there for. I’ve seen like two murders, politicians cross dressing, even saw a raccoon giving an elderly dude a back massage once. Keyholes are windows to other worlds. Sometimes very dirty and very wrong worlds.
They see me peepin‘
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me peepin’ dirty…
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UFO Abducting A Cow Christmas Ornament
This UFO Abducting A Cow Christmas Ornament with Light and Sound is going to abduct your Christmas and give it a thorough examination right up its chimney. It features lights, fiber optics, and a sound chip. The UFO lights up and makes a ray gun sound as it abducts that one Earthly beast. Sadly there’s no farmer to shoot his shotgun into the air and shake his fist, but I still think it’s cool.
Victorian Edgar Allan Poe Necklace With Ravens
Check out this Edgar Allan Poe Necklace. It’s got Edgar front and center, naturally. It also has some ravens and a skull. Do you own one already? Then you’ve been Poe-owned son! Get it? Powned? Whatevs, you know that was hilarious. Poe-lease I know you laughed. Seriously though, this is a sweet ass necklace. Your other necklaces will be worn…. Wait for it… Nevermore!