I’m not afraid to brooch the subject. This Large Octopus Brooch is the bee’s knees, Cthulhu’s tentacles, Medusa’s locks, Frankenstein’s bolts. Too scared to wear it? Don’t be an octo-puss! This guy has eight arms to hold ya with baby. Plus he’s all ink splattered, like a pen exploded in his face. I hate when that happens. He was probably just writing in his diary and SPLAT, day ruined. Don’t let your day be ruined by missing your chance at a cool accessory.
Tag: fun
Werewolf Eye Pendant
This Werewolf Eye Pendant is giving me the stink eye. At least, that’s what I assume, since werewolves all stink. It’s like they captured the eyeball just as the dude was turning into a Werewolf and now you can wear it. I hope you’re happy. Meanwhile, some poor Werewolf is going by the name of “One-Eye” and his depth perception is junk now. Can’t even catch a squirrel. Can’t even sleep with one eye open to watch out for other threats. You have basically signed this guy’s death warrant. Was it worth it? Well?
Yeah, I agree, it’s totally worth it. That’s a rad pendant. He’s still got an eye. No harm done. Not like he could see well enough to hurt you anyway, if he found out.
Vampire Repellent Necklace
Vampires hate garlic. That’s why I eat garlic bread every night of the week. Saved my life many times. Like that night I saw a shadowy figure and I hissed like a wild cat, spreading my garlic venom through the air toward him. Naturally, he retreated at the same time I continued on my way. That time it was just a reflection of myself in the store window, but still. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bites to the neck. This Vampire Repellent Necklace will help too.
Vampires hate garlic and they hate garlic clove pendants. They won’t mess with garlic in any form. That’s why you never see any Italian Vampire chefs.
Pro tip: Always watch who’s buying the garlic products at the grocery store. That’ll tell ya who isn’t a bloodsucker. Anyone that does not buy garlic definitely needs to be followed home and staked. By a professional of course. Don’t try that at home.
Vintage Bat Sunglasses
Go batty with these cool Vintage Bat Sunglasses. If you don’t mind people knowing that you’re a vampire, these are perfect. I should check with my bat-tometrist and see if these will work with my own limited bat-like vision. *Tosses my old glasses aside.* Goodbye coke-bottle lenses! You think that’s bad, my eye doctor wanted me to upgrade to Pepsi. We compromised at Mountain dew. *Tries on bat sunglasses.* Yeah, that didn’t help.
Oh, right… Sunglasses. If I could read the writing, I would have known that. That’s me, blind as a bat. At least now I can have a bat on my face.
Jack Skellington Ceramic Bowl
At last, I can eat my cereal out of an angry skull. This Jack Skellington Ceramic Bowl will have you singing, “What’s this? What’s this?” and jumping around on your too long, bony legs. Then your dad will smack you and say, “It’s a bowl stupid! Now sit down and eat!” My dad tolerated no shenanigans at the breakfast table.
Just pour your cereal in his gaping mouth, pour in the milk and eat up. Even though you’re eating from a skeleton’s mouth and getting all of his icky skeleton germs. “What’s this? What’s this?” *Slap!* “It’s the skeleton flu cuz you been mouth to mouth-ing with old bones. Now shut up and eat!”