These Anatomical Heart Earrings are awesome. You might say ventricular. In fact, I did just say that. I’m kind of awesome like that. They’re great and I’m not fibbing, I don’t practice defibrillation. I saw these and I was like, “Well put me on the DNR list and smack my butt. Those are awesome.” Then I fainted and they had to get the crash cart and kickstart my ticker. These mini hearts for your ears might just make you a cardiologist or at least a cardi-ear-logist.
Tag: fun
Sea Monsters From the Early Modern Period Vintage Poster
Here’s another reason to stay out da sea ya fools! Sea monsters are everywhere. Kinda like that time I ripped open a bag of Sea Monkeys in the public pool. This Sea Monsters From the Early Modern Period Vintage Poster shows you what to look out for on the high seas. They look like a bunch of mutated flabby old men. “Get off my kelp!”
I hope the Aquaman movie is better than this.
Cthulhu Priestess: Our Lady of Squid
This Cthulhu Priestess: Our Lady of Squid figure belongs on your altar. I know you have one cuz you worship Cthulhu. Well, now you have another deity to pray to. You know why her religion is taking off so fast? Cuz her church is full of suckers! Get it? Ha ha ha. Suckers. *crying* I really crack myself up. But really, this is Cthulhu’s wife so, it’s legit. I’m pretty sure it is sanctioned by the church and everything.
Our Lady of the Squid,
hallowed be your name.
Your tentacles come,
your will be done,
on earth, as it is in the sea.
Give us this day our daily terror,
and forgive us our non-tentacles arms….
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Miniature Alien Babies and Spaceships
Guys! Miniature Alien Babies and Spaceships are invading! It’s like a friggin’ alien day care up in this biznitch. They’re all attacking in their toddler spaceships, and with their tentacled, freaky faces. First they’ll probe us up our wazoos, then they’ll steal all of our resources. Probably use us for free babysitting and pay us like crap! Well, I don’t want none of that. I say we shoot ’em out of the sky so there’s diapers and pacifiers flying everywhere.
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May Cthulhu Eat This House Last – Cross Stitch
True that! Put this May Cthulhu Eat This House Last – Cross Stitch on your door and Cthulhu will be full by the time he gets to you. Technically, if we all put these on our door, everyone will be safe because we can’t all be last, yet Cthulhu will obey the command. Now we beat him using logic! High five everybody!
*A hellish wind kicks up. Rips the cross stitch off my door.* Oh f**k!