These Flashing LED Eyelashes are not futuristic, not cool looking and they have wires going over your ears that look like wire hangers and it makes them look like glasses for your eyelashes. Also you have to wear a motion sensor on the back of your head for them to work, so… Futuristic Cyborg fail! This is what you wear when you want to absolutely, positively keep the opposite sex away from you. Forever. Yeah, you will never know sex again. And no, I’m not going to explain it to you. I’m too busy having the sex and can’t stop. Won’t stop. Cuz my eyelashes bring all the girls to the yard.
Tag: gift
Dimensional Portals With Tentacles
Hang these Dimensional Portals With Tentacles from Etsy seller Shaunography on your wall so you can distract yourself from the real tentacle-filled portals opening up behind you. Seems like a good idea to me. Just put them all around your house so it looks like a massive attack from another dimension. That way if a real portal does open up, it will close again, cuz they will think their tentacled buddies have your place taken care of.
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Stranger Things Eleven Days of Christmas Sweatshirt
12 days of Christmas? More like Eleven. This Stranger Things Eleven Days of Christmas Sweatshirt looks like an ugly Christmas sweater, but it is a more comfy pullover sweatshirt. What? You haven’t seen Stranger Things yet? You are like the only person reading this who hasn’t seen this show. The rest of us are shaking our heads at you. WE all know how awesome this shirt is! Some people, right?
Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues
Today may not be the Day of the Dead, but that doesn’t mean I won’t buy these Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues and put them in my yard. It also doesn’t mean I won’t kneel before the royal couple and pledge my loyalty to them. Hey, I need structure. I’m best when people or skeletons are giving me orders. That way I have someone to blame all of my bad decisions on. So what would you have me do my king and queen? Rob a liquor store? Well, if it’s for the good of the kingdom…
Sadly, that’s how I found out that skeletons don’t have access to bail money. They also don’t care that your cellmate also wants to be your boyfriend.
Cryptid Mini-Print Postcards Set – Mail Me Mothman
If you’re gonna send me some snail mail, you might as well make it cool, like these Cryptid Mini-Print Postcards. I love getting cryptids in the mail. It makes checking the mail a frightening experience. This collection gives you Yeti, Jersey Devil, Loch Ness Monster, Mothman and the Flatwoods Monster. They have some great art on them. All measure 6″ x 4″.