Man, my feet are dead tired. Time to lay these puppies out, embalm ’em and put ’em to rest on this Coffin Shaped Footstool. I’m a little worried for their tortured soles though. Shhhhhhh! You just hush puppies. Rest now. Go to a better place. All of your old shoes will be there to greet you.
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Tag: goth
Spiderweb Hat Spider Headpiece
You know when you are walking outside and you get a spiderweb in your hair? So you scream and try to get it off and you end up on your hands and knees crying? This Spiderweb Hat Spider Headpiece is like that. Only on purpose.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive… Yeah, but practice makes perfect. And I’ve practiced smacking myself all over the head every time I get a spiderweb in my hair. I can no longer remember people’s names, but I’m pretty sure I’m spider-free.
Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch
Here I go again, coming through for you in the clutch. Even if I don’t know what that means. I just wanted to do something clever with the word clutch, aside from being told not to grind it because I’m used to driving an automatic. Anyway, check this out girls. This is a Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch. It’s got skeletal ribs on the front and feet with legs in the back. It also glows in the dark like that lasagna I accidentally left in the microwave overnight. The plus side is that that dinner now powers my house like lasagna-plutonium.
Anyway are you the sexy lady that can pull off this creepy cool clutch and look oh so sexy? I say yes because you got it going on girl! Get down wit yo bad self!
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Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress
Hey look! Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress. Did you try out for the team? I know right! I was like, soooo in the finals, but my breasts just weren’t perky enough. Wanna go get a frappuchino and stare vacantly at nothing? K. Cool. What was I saying?
Ra-ra Shish-boom-ba! The devil’s gonna win so burn your bra.
Our teams hot cuz it’s from Hades,
You sold your soul for that brand new Mercedes.
I don’t know the rest. I’ll ask the coach. Also, that burn your bra line has nothing to do with with women’s rights. It just rhymed. I love what you’re doing up there. *Points at breasts* Whether they’re bound or unbound. You go girl.
Hauntingly Hand Painted Cameo Necklace Brooches
These creepy and cool Cameo Necklace Brooches want to make a cameo appearance on your neck. Get it? Each one is beautifully hand painted by an artist that can stay inside the lines better than I can, in my superhero coloring books. NeverGrowUpTreasures has all kinds of designs available. Mermaids, Zombie Girls, Zombies, Frankenstein Monsters and more. Even a dead Elvis. These cameos make a great gift.
Thanks Nevergrowuptreasures. I ain’t never growin’ up. That’s why I park my big wheel in the garage and drive my scooter to work. I tried once and I just can’t adult. Not today, not ever.
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