You know what these Hand Carved Stone Alien Coasters mean? It means that these aliens got stoned! What? Nothin’? Tough room. I’ll try to come up with a new slate of jokes. Anyway, these coasters are pretty cool. They’ll protect your surfaces from stains and spills, while reminding you to clench up those butt cheeks. Gotta get those muscles tight. Just in case, ya know? If they can’t get the probes in, the humans win. Simple as that. If it don’t fit, they must acquit and put ya back in bed.
Tag: grey
Scary Peeper Alien Decoration – The Truth Is Out There
Attach this Scary Peeper Alien Decoration to any window and scare the bejesus out of your friends and family. He looks like he is communicating telepathically with his victim. Hell, I see his victim reflected in his eye. You see that? Some lucky dude is about to get a visit from the intergalactic proctologist. Good luck with that. Nothing that a little hemorrhoid cream and a cry in the corner can’t fix. This is even better than the Sasquatch Scary Peeper
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Alien Head Planter – I Want To Believe
This Alien Head Planter makes fun of those grey alien abducting psychos, by giving them some crazy plant hair. Probably make ’em jealous too, cuz they don’t have hair and rogaine doesn’t work on their planet either. They might want to consider growing plants in their heads cuz that killer hair makes ’em look all cool, like it’s blowing in the wind like some 80s heartthrob.
The truth is out there and it’s friggin’ weird!
Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print
Damn, they really have been here for a long time. This guy really should have put on a bowler hat and a mustache though if he wanted to blend in. This Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print depicts the father of the father of the father of the alien that abducted me last Tuesday. I’d recognize that face anywhere. Nah. Maybe not. They all look the same to me. Is that racist? Alien-ist? I’ll make up for it by calling them Native outer space non-Americans. Cool? Now that your panties are all un-bunched, I wonder if this guy wore a monocle and smoked a pipe. Cuz that’s what mine does. Hang on. You know what? I think I may have been abducted by one of those steampunk cosplayer peeps. So nevermind.
Alien Autopsy Game
Alien Autopsy Game. It’s the fun game of poking and prodding an alien lifeform, just like they’ve been doing to you forever. Stick stuff in, wiggle it around. Make them scream and cry. These b**tards deserve it. The box says, “One wrong move and it’s scream will send you running.” One wrong move might also prevent this intergalactic jerkwad from reproducing if you know what I mean! I think you do! It’s the wacky game of alien operation!
First players watch from their own human made UFO, flying high above the alien homeworld. When the alien goes to sleep, just zip right down, beam some light into it’s room and abduct that sucker! Then in your human lab aboard the ship, conduct experiments and operate on that bug-eyed freak! When it’s pain no longer amuses you and makes you giggle like a lunatic, release it back into the wild. But don’t forget to mind-wipe it first!
What do you think little Bobby?
I want to believe, but I need to operate again to be sure!
What about you little Suzie?
I stuck an implant in it’s fat head and spit in it’s spleen!
That’s the spirit kids! Alien Autopsy! Creepbay approved!