Apparently the drinking age on Alpha Centauri is like 2 years old. I know an alien baby when I see one. This guy is probably like 10 months old and they didn’t bother to card him. Now he’s all laying on the bar, kicking at the bottle as he chugs it all down. Dreaming of the day when he’s old enough to fly his own UFO under the influence.
FYI: This Alien Wine bottle holder looks scary as hell without a bottle in it’s mouth. Click the link to check it out.
I’d like to tell you about these Area 51 Coasters, but the place doesn’t officially exist. Nope. There’s nothing there but desert. If you think you saw something it was only a mirage. That’s what the nice men wearing black told me. Yep. So that’s how it is. I didn’t see anything. I was never there. Those men were never here questioning me. They said so. I never saw no stinking UFO wreckage, there was no alien corpse and if I think there was, that’s gonna be the end of me.
This is an alien from Roswell. You remember that UFO crash? It was in all the papers, until they hushed everyone up and secretly made friends with the aliens, trading Easter peeps for technology. Anyway, this Roswell Alien Sculpture is all like, “Hey man, wasup? We just kinda crashed in your yard. It will take us about 4 hours to fix this old hunk of junk, so in the meantime hows about dropping them pants and lettin’ us probe you? What say you human?”
This thing is gonna look sweet in my front yard once I get some plaster and make him anatomically correct. See why my neighbors love me?
This cool aliens quilt is just like the kind that grandma used to make. After she was abducted by aliens in the middle of the night. It’s full of little green that have eyes featuring NYC Times Square images with parts of buildings, statues, and other stuff.
If they come to get you at night and see this quilt, they will know that we know. Then you’ll wake up and they will know that we know that they know that we know. Ya know? Man, conspiracy stuff is crazy hard and confusing.
Need a new walking stick? Try this Alien Walking Stick. Sounds like an insect that looks like an alien, but it is a walking stick that looks like a scary grey alien. Both are terrifying. Especially when you consider that old people like to hit young people with walking sticks. How would you like to get whacked in the face by this walking stick and then have an imprint of an alien on your face all day?
Hey, what happened to your face? Oh that? Helped an old lady across the street and into her UFO. She said I had seen too much and started whacking me. Laid there for about a half an hour after the thing took off, until some men in black arrived, took a blood sample, kicked me a few times and told me that I saw nothing and don’t talk about this EVER. I guess I just did.
Gonna end this here. Someone’s knocking on the door…This isn’t good.
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