I’m gonna get a Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask and sing in the forest.
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain;
And my head I’d be a scratchin’
While my thoughts are busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
Then a girl from Kansas would spot me. I would turn around and she would scream and run away terrified. Which is cool cuz I’m not from Kansas and I’m not interested in a long distance relationship right now.
If you want a cool skull for your creepy Christmas tree, this Toxic Skull Christmas Ornament should do the trick. It’s just dripping and oozing it’s toxic goo all over the place. This guy must have fallen into a vat of chemicals. You know what that means. He’s probably going to become the Toxic Avenger now. It melts on your tree and not in your hand. That makes me really want some M & M’s now.
Send all of your friends these cool Bigfoot and Chupacabra Greeting Cards from CreatureCardsDesign. In my case that means the mailman and the lady at the grocery store. They feature fun art and on the back there is a description of the monster’s origin and some sightings. But they don’t tell you what to do when you have a sighting. I can help with that: If you see these monsters, bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. Especially if you see the Chupacabra. He will suck your blood like a demon who just discovered a crazy straw for the first time. Except his straw is his tongue. I know, gross.
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I don’t know about you, but I’m always losing my skull planters when it gets dark. You can’t find ’em cuz you can’t see ’em. Then you trip over it and break it in a thousand pieces. Well, this Glow-in-the-Dark Skull Flower Pot will always be visible and very very scary! Seriously, I’m shivering right now. But that may just be because I didn’t pay the heating bill. Not because I’m kicking heroine. Although I do kick heroine. Right to the curb. Say no to drugs peeps. Also say no to drugged peeps cuz that’s a serious danger at Easter parties. Just passing that tip along.
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The Michael Myers Knife Necklace and Earrings will make you a sharp dresser. Get it? Sharp cuz it’s a knife. I hear ya. Comedy gold right? If that piece of gold was eaten by a dog and pooped out. These knife accessories have Michael’s face on them, looking menacing. Now you can walk around swinging your head and gyrating so your necklace knife sways wildly. “I’ll cut you man! I’ll cut you!” Calm down man, are you having a seizure? “Come close to my ears and say that! I’m a living weapon! Also getting dizzy.”