This Hannibal Zombie Elf On A Shelf is the elf on a shelf inside of a cell, wearing a muzzle. I guess the North Pole is a bloody place, with some sick and twisted elves. Now this guy can terrorize you in your own home during the holiday season. Keep that mask on so he doesn’t bite you. Or worse, eat you. With a bottle of wine. I wonder what wine goes best with me… Hmmm. No way I would let this guy in my home, but you make your own call. That call should be to the police as this elf is around your neck with a little knife.
Tag: halloween
Leather Kraken Helmet
Crikey, ats a kraken elmet mate! I’ll take a crack at that kraken helmet. It doesn’t have any actual cracks right? Good cuz my head needs to be protected while I’m riding my Big Wheel, which I decked out in tentacles and seaweed. I’m going for a whole Mad Max thing. In this case, I call it Crazy Kraks.
You see why I have to protect my noggin? Cuz these ideas are gold! Plus I’m a big fan of Cthulhu and Krakens. In school the girls used to call me H.P. Nub-craft, for reasons I don’t feel comfortable getting into here. Well, I better get Kraken if I’m gonna save up all my dough and buy this thing.
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Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings
Wow, look at those crystal skull earrings. Back off Indy, that’s mine! I’m gonna sell it for a fortune and buy a small island. *Knees Indy in his 70 year old junk and watches as he falls down a trap pit. Then I swing into action, clutching a jungle vine and snatch these Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings off of the lovely lady who is no longer wearing them and jump into a waiting jeep.* So pretty. Such a rare treasure! What the? *Indy drops behind me as I’m racing down a tight road on the side of a cliff. He gives me a choke hold, so I elbow him in the ribs and send him flying over the cliff.* Haha. Sucker. *Reaches into my pocket where the earrings are missing.* Nooooooooooo. *Jumps out of the car and over the cliff after him.*
Two adventurers died that day and the treasure was lost again. You see what happens when you interfere Indy? This is why I can’t have nice things.
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A Bunch Of Crazy Monster Heads For Your Wall
These crazy monster heads are basically demon heads popping out of your wall. The sellers says:
In this piece I attempt to personify many of my own personal “demons” that have taught me the importance of persistence, dedication and determination to name a few.
Damn. You and your “friends”must have been a real hit at dinner parties. Now you can take this person’s demons and display them on your wall. But collection other people’s demons may not be a good idea.
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Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask
You know how it is. You’re cooking Thanksgiving dinner and one thing leads to another. Before you know, you have the turkey on your head. Happens to the best of us. Then you flail around the kitchen breaking stuff cuz you can’t see and you have a turkey on your head. Yeah, this Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask simulates the whole experience. Except it has eye holes and a mouth hole, where a real turkey does not.