Tag: halloween

Gothic Bat Ring

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Gothic Bat Ring
I’m Batman! No, really. Why won’t anyone believe me? I have the kick-ass Bat ring and everything. Geesh guys. Next time save yourselves. I knew I needed an entire costume, but I was trying to be different. Also cheap. Do you know how much capes cost these days? Just get a ring, I said. It will be a new superhero phenomenon I said. Nope. Not so much.

Well, my super career may be over, but at least I have this sweet bat ring. It’s super cool and batty in my belfry! HAHAHAHAAHHAH Oh man. I think I may be the joker!
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Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse

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Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse
Hey ladies! Carry all of your lady stuff in this Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse. *Removing my arms from my shirt sleeves and putting them into my shirt. Flapping away like crazy and making bat noises as I try to escape.* Just call me Bat-Dini! Who? No not Houdini. And not Who-dini either. That’s an owl thing I do when I’m bored in bed.

Anyway, this awesome bat purse is awesome. Flappin’ awesome. Like wing flappin’ and teeth sinking into your neck awesome. Make sure you carry it upside down during the day, cuz it needs sleep.
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Human Skull Planters

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Human Skull Planters
I need these Human Skull Planters like I need a plant growing out of my head, but I have to admit, dude’s got a nice set of hair. It’s all living matter up top, and nothing but dead skull below. At the very least it will scare some kids this Halloween.

I would have put a mini planter under the jaw, just so I could give him a little Chia Pet beard, but that’s just me.

Tombstone Magnets

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Tombstone Magnets
Check out these cool tombstone magnets. I hope they add Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday! Pew! Pew! Pew! Gunfights are cool.

Wrong tombstone dumbass!

Ohhhhhhh. That kind of tombstone. Yeah, that’s cool too.

Whatever idiot! Anyway, what do you want on your tombstone?

I’ll have pepperoni and extra cheese! *Shouts* Tombstone pizza Pierre!

Horrifying Spider Doll

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Horrifying Spider Doll
This nightmare on eight legs is a Horrifying Spider Doll. The seller calls it Wilson the Wolf Spider. I call it, “Kill it! Kill it now!” It’s making me all itchy so I just sprayed like a case full of Raid all over my house. Which is why I have red welts all over my body and am having a hard time breathing. At least I’m not worried about hallucinating, since I have already seen this nightmare. What could be worse?

Uh, that crazy gnome with the grasshopper face and the serial killer knife, comes pretty close. I don’t like how his lower half is a praying mantis, sharpening a second knife on it’s legs….

Update: It’s an hour later. I jumped out of my window and let the place air out. Woke up in the garden. It’s much better now. It’s down to insecticide level 2, which means that the circus troop of flaming monkees now dancing around my living room should be about done. No, I did not misspell monkees. It really is the fake TV band from the 60s!
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