Tag: house

Horror Movie Light Switch Covers

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Horror Movie Light Switch Covers
These Horror Movie Light Switch Covers will remind everyone of the real horror to those over 30. Not turning the damn lights off! What, were you born in a barn? Like some little calf? All in the hay with birth-stuff all over you? Anyway, ScreamForMeInc has a variety of cool horror movie themed light switch covers. I had a giggle cuz the switch hole on THE THING cover is on his thing. Yes, I am immature. And I prove it every day around here. That’s why you are reading. *Sticks tongue out when you aren’t looking.*

You know what would be awesome? Putting the Amityville cover IN the Amityville house! We should sneak in and do it. Then take pictures and get ourselves caught. And by we I mean you. I ain’t no jailbird. Anyway, I don’t like that house’s eyes! Abort mission!
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Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters

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Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters
If you want to protect your furniture, use these Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters. Cuz you know if you spill beer all over my coffee table, I’m gonna raise hell. I don’t put up with that shizz. I will raise some serious hell on the first person to leave a sweat ring on my counter too. You know Pinhead? He used to be friend “Larry” Mother effer slammed his glass down one night and left grape juice everywhere. So I made him my pin cushion. YOU JUST GOT PINNED BIATCH! HELL WILL BE RAISED!

Human Bone Chandelier

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human bone chandelier
Lovely home you have here. Is that a bone chandelier? I find it rather humerus. And creepy. As they say in France, Bonswa.

That means good afternoon you idiot!

Okay, so how do you say “Adios to your house of horrors. I’m out!”

Au revoir.

Okay then. Au revoir and bone appetit. You ain’t getting my femur, cause I’m a screamer. I’ll fight you like Libya if you take my tibia. I’ll- Do I smell cake? Maybe I’ll stay a little longer. Can we eat in the other room?
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Hobbit Hole Playhouse Kits

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hobbit hole play house
*Picks up guitar and starts pluckin’ all twangy and southern. Sings.*

Well I prefer hobbits to Lorena Bobbitts.
Yes I prefer Hobbits to Lorena Bobbitts.

I don’t need no Frodo
slicing up my scroto.

Don’t need no Lady Bilbo
cutting off their own *beep*

It rhymes with Bilbo. Heh heh. Well, that’s all I have so far, but I’m hoping to get the final track included in the next epic 9 hour nerd-fest. I just wanted to pop in and say how cool these Hobbit Hole Playhouse Kits are. They come from Etsy seller Hobbitholes. There’s plenty of room inside for a nerd and a cat. *So basically, you’re house hunting?* Oh har de har har. Aren’t you a barrel of laughs. But seriously, do you think I can swing the mortgage on this baby? I have a down payment of a half eaten pack of Rolos and some Starburst wrappers.
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Beer Keg Urinal

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beer keg urinal
This awesome Beer Keg Urinal lets you put the beer back where it came from in the first place. Buy beer keg, drink beer, pee beer back into keg. The beautiful circle of life. I mean beer. It makes a great gift. You can’t miss with a beer keg urinal. Well, actually you can. Helps to have a target. Like a crushed can urinal cake.

When I first saw this I thought it was an image of how kegs started out in life. I thought, Jesus, that explains why these things are so damn heavy. But no. Somebody just make a urinal out of a keg.