Tag: humor

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion
That’s right. This is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion. Why does it exist? No idea. Cuz pain meds maybe. I’m not sure if this is Raphael, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Socrates, or whatever the hell the other ones are named, but he clearly died for our sins. So be good to one another cuz God is making a list and checking it twice. He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. Oh wait. My bad. that’s Santa Claus.

We’ve featured CoffinCollector’s work before. Always interesting. Always makes me dizzy and a little scared.

Heroes in a half shell! Resurrection power!

Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mugs

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Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mugs
Are you my poop buddy? I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine. Pinky promise? Gross! Your finger has dukey on it. Anyway, these Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mugs are perfect for you and your poop buddy. Friends. The buddy system. That’s what it’s all about. It’s all about friends helping friends poop. I think. Maybe it’s about two friends slamming their poop filled hands together to activate super powers. No idea. Maybe it’s about one guy being the lookout, while the other guy drops a Cleveland steamer by the side of the highway. If so, I’m a good friend.

The Highway patrol will never get you for doing the doggy squat while I’m on guard. They’ll get you for indecent exposure and kidnapping instead cuz I don’t know you and I’m just glad to be free and all over the local news. It was quite an ordeal. *tears*. He wanted me to drink from his Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mug. *sobs* Wrap that rescue blanket around me. Which camera should I look into? That one? *Crying* I just want to go home now. It was horrible.

Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set

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Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set
You know how the pyramids were built by aliens? Well they also visited baby Jeebus and came bearing gifts. All around the world, people celebrate the three alien wisemen who arrived that day to see the boy king of kings and now you can celebrate this trio in your own home by displaying the Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set.

You get Grog’nok, Pilch’nark and Gil’mek all carrying the ceremonial stars to give to baby Jeebus as a gift. One by one they approached the manger and gave the gift, and in doing so, exposed their nakedness to everyone in the manger. It is the alien way. Bring only enough to cover yourself and then run back to the spacecraft.

And so we celebrate and we remember with these special keepsakes.
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Wacky Taxidermy – What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Wacky Taxidermy - What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
Do you even lift bro? That’s what I thought. Me? I brought some serious heat to this gun show. Okay, my arm muscles are like one of those tiny lady-guns they put in their stockings, but still, I showed up and flexed for yall, so that counts for something. Anyway, this is a $334.72 taxidermy scene that depicts two mouse bros working out and gettin’ them gains!

Yeah, I’ve thought about making one like this, but all the mice in my traps just look like the weights dropped down and pinned them by the neck, so…

Look at the mouse just bench pressing, while the other one thinks it’s a trap. Nice one Planet Zitness!