Tag: light

Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp

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Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp
Is it the Day of The Dead already? That would explain that rotting zombie at the ATM machine that I had to decapitate with a shovel. It would also explain why my trip to Target was like black friday on acid. Well, time to get my survival gear ready and head out to the mountains, where I will spend my days keeping an eye out for zombies and my nights, reading by this cool Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp.

Until one night when I fall asleep early and find a zombie gnawing on my arm. Bad zombie! Bad! *hits it in the nose with newspaper. Then when I see it won’t be trained as a pet, blows it’s head off.*

Walking Dead Lantern

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Walking Dead Lantern
This Walking Dead Lantern will cast all kinds of cool and creepy shadows on your wall. Pretty cool. If I used a lantern. Which I don’t. What am I, Paul Revere up in here?

I mean, I guess I could go back to using a lantern instead of, you know, electricity. Alright, you talked me into it. I’m also gonna need an old timey hat and a powdered wig. And a bell that I can ring in case zombies attack me. I’ll just wake the whole neighborhood while I’m getting my throat torn out by a hungry zombie. Yeah, that’ll work out great. For people who sell bells and lanterns!
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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp

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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.

Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.

Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp

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Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp
ACK! Get that baby away from me! Go Franken-baby! Get out of here! *Swings my torch at him and jabs my pitchfork at him.* This is a face that only a mother could love. Yeah, a blind mother f***er! If you’re looking for something nasty and horrible to light up your room at night, look no further than this Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp.

*Shudders* I need therapy just from seeing this thing. It has like a Jack-O-Lantern carving in the back of it’s skull too. Also seems to emit the blue light of a hundred souls that it has devoured.
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Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder

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Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder
This Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder is awesome. Looks like an old grey castle where a witch lives. I bet my wife is moving in there. It looks pretty cool all lit up. Like it would talk to you in a booming voice that only you can hear.

WHO DARES AWAKE THE MIGHTY SKULL OF DOOM?

Uh…Me? I guess me, yeah.

OH! WELL COME BACK IN AN HOUR, I”M BEAT!

Stoned more like. Get it? Cuz you’re made of pumice?

YOU HAVE DISPLEASED ME MORTAL! RETURN UPON ONE HOUR AND I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH MY ANCIENT POWER!

*Waits for it to fall asleep again then smashes it to pieces with a hammer.*

This is why I can’t have friends. *Sigh*

*Sweeps the ancient evil up in a dustpan and dumps it into the trash.*