The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture

The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture
Seasons don’t fear the reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain… I fear that guy, cuz I’m not wind, sun or rain. Although I do break my share of wind both in the sun and in the rain so that others may fear the reaper. This awesome Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture reminded me. It makes it look like the old Grimster is coming out of your wall, bearing a light like he just captured your soul.

Damn dude, why ya gotta bug me while I’m sitting at home surfing the internet? And what’s up with those ribs? You can decide who lives and who dies, but you can’t get a shirt that fits right? Actually, I hear ya on that one. My gut makes it a challenge. No, don’t cry! *Sigh* Fine, you hang right there and we can talk all about it. It’s gonna be okay. Now tell me all about it. There there. Don’t be so Grim! Maybe you should write your feelings down in a book. Maybe a grimnoir? I kid. I kid. You look like death warmed over.

Crystal Human Skull With Moon Light Brain Walking Stick

Crystal Human Skull With Moon Light Brain Walking Stick
This Crystal Human Skull With Moon Light Brain Walking Stick is the coolest cane ever. I’m thinking of whacking myself in the knee just so I can have a bum leg and officially use it. This might be the only cane with a brain of it’s own. And it glows like it is nuclear material. This cane has some serious grey matter. I can practically see the synapses firing. I wonder what he’s thinking. Probably that you are holding his head too tight and he has a headache.
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Saint Beetlejuice Candle

saint beetlejuice candle
This Saint Beetlejuice Candle should only be used with prayers that begin with saying his name three times. I can get away with it, because I’m typing the name, not saying it. Just another sweet-ass perk of being a blogger. Don’t you try it.

Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.

See. Totally safe. I knew that dingus Michael Keaton wasn’t going to appear. ARGHHHH! Internet is crapping out! My computer is soooooo slow. I’m-

Update: Gonna finish using the library computer, cuz my screen is all black and white stripes with Beetlejizz in the foreground juggling Winona Ryder and Tim Burton’s heads.

Once again, the perks of being a blogger turn out to be an exaggeration. Let that be a lesson to you kids. Stick with your selfies and texting while colliding with poles and leave blogging to the pros.

I’m off to the deli to get a slice of rye and some moldy bologna. An old Chinese guy told me it was the only way to banish him.

Nuke Lamp Glows In The Dark, Naturally

nuke lampThis Nuke Lamp in the shape of a mushroom cloud will lend an irradiated glow to your home. Usually only the cockroaches would survive a blast like this, but both you and those nasty creatures will be safe.

This amazing 3D printed lamp really splits my atoms. It’s rad! Get it? I love it a mega-ton! I hope I don’t get any fallout because of these lame jokes. I wish I had been alive in the 60s and had this lamp. I would have tricked all of my dates using the old “under the desk, duck and cover” routine. Nah, I’ll be fine sitting at the desk. Only enough room down there for one. You get under so you’re safe. Heh heh. While you’re down there…

*Hey that’s rude!*

What? I was gonna say to check if the carpet needs vacuuming.

*That’s sexist*

Well, I just meant.

*You shut up mister!*

When did the voice in my head get so mean and bossy?

Life Size Skull Lamp: Hey, Your Brains Are Glowing

spark of life skull lampThis “Spark of Life” skull lamp from Etsy seller jackofthedust will light up your room with grey matter. Usually having brains splattered all over your room is something to clean up before the cops get there, but the only thing spilling from this cranium is light. There are several colors available.

It’s like this skull just had the mother of all ideas and the light bulb in his head went nuclear. Like that time I had the idea to make a website full of weird stuff you can buy online. Now I’m buying a bunch of crazy stuff and am basically a hoarder, plus I’m working like everyday. And do you guys appreciate it? Do you? I’m just messin’ with ya. You guys are the best. Keep sending in tips about weird messed up or weird cool stuff. You see that picture above, that’s your brain on Creepbay.
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