Crazy Werewolf Transformation Mask

werewolf maskMake everyday a full moon with this crazy Werewolf Transformation Mask. You’ll have to provide your own sounds of bones breaking and tendons tearing as you transform and puke up a friggin’ Werewolf snout from your mouth. This sweet mask is just $52 and it will scare the hell out of everybody.

I actually grew up thinking I was a werewolf. Dad used to lock me up in a metal room once a month on the full moon. He told me I was a werewolf and it was for my own good. So I would freak out and claw up the walls, throw my own feces and wonder why I wasn’t all hairy. Then in the morning he let me out. Turns out that was how mom and dad got me out of their way for “date night”.

Mom, why are you walking funny? Did I get out of the cage and hurt you? Yes. Yes you did. You are a bad werewolf boy.

Custom Godzilla Sterling Silver Rings

godzilla ringsMake your fist one of fury when you put a Godzilla on each finger. I got a fist full of Godzilla’s and your face is Tokyo! Let’s get to wreckin’! Nah. It’s not like these awesome Godzilla rings are brass knuckles. There’s no way you could hurt someone while wearing these rings.

Well, maybe Mothra. Mothra is just begging for it? He thinks being a Moth is going to be able to stand up against the mighty Godzilla. Godzilla would just light a fart- Wait, these rings cost $385? I just realized I have way to many fingers. Looks like if I want to play Godzilla, it’s finger puppets for me.

Greaser From The Booze Lagoon Taxidermied Head

greaser from the booze lagoonHey, it’s the creature from the booze lagoon. What’s up bro? Drag any sweet ladies into your filthy water hole lately? Why you looking at me like that? Dude you have anger issues. Was just asking how you’ve been. Damn.

Click through for the seller’s short story about this taxidermy head.
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This Toilet Monster Will Scare The Poop Out of You

toilet monsterThere’s no better prank then putting a monster in someones toilet. It plays on the primitive fear that we all have about monsters attacking us when we are at our most vulnerable. Besides, everyone knows that toilets are nothing but monster portals to other realms, with poop going one way and demons riding the wave and going the other. We are potentially a target with each and every flush.

This Toilet Monster pops out when they lift up the seat and comes in red and green.

Crazy Monster Hat With Claw Mittens

monster hatThis awesome $129. monster hat is just waiting to transform you into a furry three-eyed monster so you can go all om-nom-nom on somebody. It comes with claw mittens so you can go all Wolverine on your prey too.

I have to say, this is the cutest monster I’ve ever seen and I applaud the choice of bra over a furry chest piece. You can hide under my bed any time you want. Just don’t attack while the bed is rocking. Wait 30 seconds when you hear me reach for a kleenex. Otherwise things could get awkward.

What? I have a cold. Been coughing a lot and rocking the bed. These fits usually last about a minute and happen once a night. I’m a sick sick man.
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