Morbid Decor: Human Skull Planter

Morbid Decor Human Skull Planter
This Human Skull Planter lets you grow your plants in a replica human cranium. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “pushing up daisies”. I think I would put some googly eyes on it though. And wrap a scarf around it’s base. Then again I’m pretty crazy. I do have a green thumb though. But that’s just from getting my hand caught in that vending machine. Stupid Snickers bar. Here’s a joke for ya:

How did this skull get framed? The evidence was planted! Obviously. Excuse me while I laugh at my own lame joke. Humor brought to you by the third grade. I never really left. Well, eventually I was forced to move on, but that’s all in the past. Or not.

Small Bone Mirror With Bird Skulls

Small Bone Mirror
Everyone looks great in a mirror that’s decorated with bones and bird skulls. I mean you look better than the skulls around your face. This Bone Mirror With Bird Skulls goes well with the coffin mirror. A mirror with bird skulls is really something to crow about. I just dove it, don’t you? Everyone is raven about it.

Hey internet boy shut up.

No you shut up. This is a free country and this is a free cafe. Well, not free. I paid for my coffee, so I’m free to blog here all I want and talk out loud while I’m typing.

And I’m free to give you a wedgie just like I did last week.

*Sigh* Yes Biff. I’m leaving now. But not because I’m scared. Not just because I’m scared, but because I can’t afford another pair of undies this week.

Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin

Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin
Damn. That is one fancy funeral for a dead rat. This Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin makes a nice and morbid decoration. You know what his ghost said when it realized it was dead? Oh rats!

Sssshhhhhhhh!

Sorry. Gotta be respectful of all the other mourners here to pay their respects. Everybody’s leaving cubes of cheese in the casket. Man, the undertaker must have been drunk. I’ve seen better preserved Twinkies after they’ve been left outside for a month.

4 Headed Dark Duckling

4 Headed Dark Duckling
The quack is back. No, that’s not right. The quack is black. Beware the 4 Headed Dark Duckling. He probably spent his life walking in circles. That would suck having to eat for 4.

This thing is whacked yo! No, it’s quacked yo! It’s actually 4 individual ducks all put together. So this thing is stacked yo! You might say the maker got all his or her ducks in a row. And that’s all the duck comedy I have for today.

Duck Tales…Wooo-ooo!

Clawing Hand Wall Hangers

Clawing Hand Wall Hangers
The hands! The hands are coming! To give you high fives from hell! Which I can only assume evaporates your hand with the burning fires of hades. These things are perfect creep decor for the home. Get some spiders and a skull to go along with these Clawing Hand Wall Hangers and you have yourself a portal to another world where dead people are reaching into ours.

I reached into a portal like that once, but that was only because I thought there might be a Snickers bar on the other side and I’m a diva when I’m hungry.