I know what you’re thinking. That Scented Loch Ness Monster Ornaments surely smell like seaweed and monster pee. Nope. These ornaments are lavender scented. Hang them anywhere you want. On your Christmas tree, your rear view mirror, wherever. I have mine above the Captain’s wheel on my boat. Sometimes I reach up and sniff it like a bloodhound, so I know if I’m getting close to Nessie or not. It doesn’t help, but I feel a little high. Then I forget what I was doing and spin donuts on the water until the coastguard comes. So that was my weekend.
Tag: nessie
Cryptozoology Keychains – Bigfoot, Yeti and More!
These Cryptozoology Keychains let you put some crazy cryptids in your pocket, Like Bogfoot. Oops, I mistyped that. Meant to say Bigfoot. Bogfoot is a mythical beast that lives in the swamp, therefore keeps stepping in the bog. Anyway, these keychains are kind of fun. Pick your favorite and put your keys on. You can choose from Bigfoot, Yeti, Kraken, Nessie and more. No Mothman though, cuz he flew toward the light and was never seen again. I don’t recognize some of them.
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Giant Plesiosaur Plush – The Plush Ness Monster
This Giant Plesiosaur Plush is just the kind of thing you can cuddle with in bed and pretend that he’s taking you on an amazing journey through the sea. I mean loch. Whatever! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Is it okay if I pee in the water buddy? Cool, cuz I just did.
You’ll know for sure that the Loch Ness Monster is real every time you see this in your home. I know he’s real. The internet told me and that is one friend that never lies.
Plush Loch Ness Monster: I Saw It! I Saw It!
Oh Nessie, you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Nessie. Hey Nessie. He’s plush. He’s supernatural. Even Leonard Nimoy was in search of him. I’m talking about Nessie. The Loch Ness Monster. Here he is in Plush Loch Ness Monster form. You’ve just had a sighting! Better report that shizz and share your blurry pic. Yeah, looks like a log with fins to me. You can take a pic of your crummy breakfast for instagram, but you can’t photograph a majestic and mythic beast huh? Whatevs.
Oh Nessie, what a pity you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Nessie, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s plush like you Nessie
Oh, what you do Nessie, do Nessie
Don’t break my heart, Nessie.
Fun Fact: Nessie has a wife named bessie and likes to swim with his daughter Jesse. Can we spot them? Lesee… Damn, I should be a children’s writer. That’s where my skill level is anyway. I so rock the market of the under-developed mind. Takes one to know one.
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Nessie Loch Ness Monster Ladle
Now you can have a Nessie sighting with every meal. And you will even have proof. Who said Nessie wasn’t real? Just throw your current ladle out right now. This is the best ladle ever.
It has 4 little legs that stand it upright on your counter and it will look just like Nessie as it sits inside your soup. Make sure you take a pic every time and alert the tabloids!
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