Butts. Everybody has one. You get out of the shower and you try to cover it up, but the towel just falls anyway. I say if you have it flaunt it and if it is covered by a towel you can still show it off with this cheeky Butt towel.
Saggy butt? Droopy dumper? Now your butt will always look buff and cartoony after each shower, while your real and likely acne riddled butt hides beneath. This is like plastic surgery that you can put on and take off of your poop-shooter.
Need a new walking stick? Try this Alien Walking Stick. Sounds like an insect that looks like an alien, but it is a walking stick that looks like a scary grey alien. Both are terrifying. Especially when you consider that old people like to hit young people with walking sticks. How would you like to get whacked in the face by this walking stick and then have an imprint of an alien on your face all day?
Hey, what happened to your face? Oh that? Helped an old lady across the street and into her UFO. She said I had seen too much and started whacking me. Laid there for about a half an hour after the thing took off, until some men in black arrived, took a blood sample, kicked me a few times and told me that I saw nothing and don’t talk about this EVER. I guess I just did.
Gonna end this here. Someone’s knocking on the door…This isn’t good.
Read more “Alien Walking Stick”
Keep your head dry with a head of lettuce. Like cardboard, lettuce has practically no nutritional value. But it can You protect your head in the form of this lettuce umbrella. If you are dry you will Romaine calm. Even if it’s raining an iceberg on your head. Lettuce jokes are fun.
Lettuce rejoice at the Vegetabrella. It makes the rain leaf you alone. Walk down the street and twirl with this umbrella and you will be a real salad spinner. Ok, I’m done.
Read more “Vegetabrella Looks Like A Head Of Lettuce”
Keep your beer cool with this Beard Beer Can Koozie. Have several beers? Set them up with some mini guitars and enjoy your ZZ Pop-Tops. Beer always tastes better when it has a beard like a mountain man. And don’t be afraid of spillage. Just like your real beard, this beard will sop up any beer that’s spilled. In other words, redneck cologne.
I’ll take a beer in a beard any day over a bee in my beard. Or a beard in my beer.
These undies are real period pieces, featuring historic figures that will cover your crotch or butt. That’s cool. I guess they are technically underwear as opposed to panties, but it all just covers your junk. Cover your bird in Shakespeare and maybe it will write a sonnet for you. Put Queen Elizabeth I on your cheeks. Cause you know, you are cheeky like that.
Having your period? Well, these are all period specific. Ha. See what I did there? It’s like the history channel and underwear collided. You can find them all here.