Aliens like to rock too and now they want to help mankind with these alien face guitar picks. These guitar picks have aliens on them, allowing you to rock like your tour-bus UFO just crashed in Roswell. It probably has a tracking device inside that marks you for abduction, because you know, they are recruiting for an intergalactic band.
Why an anal probe and medical procedures are part of the interview process, I have no idea.
Finally there is a soap dispenser that will wash away the stink of alien abduction. Because the way things are right now you can scrub and scrub and never feel clean. This soap dispenser was designed by Duncan Shotton. This UFO soap dispenser displays an alien abduction as it is happening. One version has the aliens stealing a human, the other a cow.
No matter which version you choose, your hands will be nice and clean even if you want to scream on the inside and remove your alien implant with a steak knife.
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Worried about illegal aliens and robots taking all our jobs? What you should be worried about are dinosaurs taking our jobs. Like that T-Rex that works as a janitor at my local mall. He can sweep and mop just fine, but he spends most of the day asking for help picking stuff up off the floor. Stupid stubby T-Rex arms. Affirmative dino action. What are you gonna do? Dinosaurs are getting all our jobs whether we like it or not. Damn DNA cloning techniques.
Anyway, now you can celebrate dinosaurs with jobs with this awesome coloring book that I am way too excited about.
Sweet! This Loch Ness Monster Salt and Pepper set will complete my mythical creature salt and pepper shaker collection. I already have Bigfoot, the Chupacabra and Mothman!
I thought I saw the Loch Ness Monster once, but those humps sticking out of the water were just a family of overturned obese people in inner tubes. They went all sideways when I zipped past on my jetski. Haha! Take that you-
*slams against the side of a boat. Falls into water. Sinking. Snake like form swims toward me. Circles around. Farts. Then leaves laughing.*
Did I see Nessie? The nurses say it was the morphine, but I’ll always believe that Nessie saved me. He disrespected me for sure, but those farts brought me to the surface…I know what I saw. I know what I smelled.
Some colognes and perfumes make you smell all flowery, but this cool new Demeter Graham Cracker Cologne Spray makes you smell delicious. Who doesn’t love graham crackers? Probably only Nazis, but they hate everything. The sweet taste and intoxicating scent always draws me back for more. Sadly graham crackers don’t dunk in milk for s**t, so you have a mound of graham cracker sand on the bottom of your glass. They should just sell liquid graham crackers and save everyone the trouble.
This fragrance combines the scents of honey, molasses, cinnamon, and vanilla. Glass of milk smell sold separately.