Hey everybody! It’s the Mummy Mike Rubber Band Holder. Fun fact: At first the title was Mummy Mike Rubber Holder cuz I forgot a word. Then I changed it just so everyone is clear that this guy will NOT hold your rubbers. Only rubber bands. Don’t put your rubbers on him. That’s just gross anyway. Dude starts off naked, but as you add rubber bands, he looks more and more like a mummy. Pretty cool. He is my new favorite desk toy. In fact I’m gonna get several so I have a whole army of rubber band mummies.
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Tag: novelty
Fetus Keychain
Man I lose my keys all of the time. You know why? Cuz they arent attached to a giant pink fetus, obviously. There’s no way you lose your keys when there’s a fetus involved. Oh and the Fetus Keychain is squishy, so, you know, feel free to use it as a stress reliever or just strangle your fetus for no reason. I ain’t judging. They look like little aliens. It goes with this fetus for your wall.
Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair
What. In. The. F*ck! So I saw this today. Can’t unsee it either. I tried washing my eyes out with bleach too. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I poured bleach in my ears, hoping to burn it from my mind. Still seeing it in my head, but now I also feel woozy. So it’s a fetus. Also a chair. Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair. A fetus of what though? I have no clue. Sit on it, sleep with it, hang out with it all day long if you want. You will have the biggest fetus around.
Fetus! It’s the new futon. He’s very scared of the vacuum for some reason.
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Sexy and Cute Women’s Sugar Skull Bra
Whoa! Nice sugar skulls! This Sexy Women’s Sugar Skull Bra makes your tattas look a bit more terrifying. Cute though. You must have a “see” cup cuz i see and I can’t look away. But once I do, I will have a lifetime of mammaries to look back on fondly. That’s some Victoria’s secret right there. And the secret is skeletons in your closet. They have skulls all over and rhinestone detailing. Also check out this zombie eyes bra.
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Bigfoot Playing Cards
Bigfoot Playing Cards. Deal me in son! BAM! *Smacks cards on the table* Full house, Yetis high! Yeah, well I got a Sasquatch straight, which is better than a Sasquatch flush cuz we all know that Sasquatch don’t flush. And if he does, he just clogs the toilet. Deal ’em again. I may not have a good hand, but I got a “Big foot”. *Cackling laughter followed by the sound of a tooth falling onto the table.* Keep dealing. I’m having so many sightings I’m about to get my own Bigfoot show. Yuck yuck yuck!
You see how fun Bigfoot Playing Cards are? Forget hunting the dude and just enjoy a card game already.
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