I’ve had my eyes on these shoes for a long time. Looks like I ain’t the only one. Everybody’s got their eyes on these Monster Shoes. And they’re all googly. Just a bunch of googly eyes and teeth. Do you like ’em? I only ask cuz beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Really, you like ’em? Cool. The eyes have it. All eyes will be on you when you wear these. No, for real.
Tag: novelty
Gothic Raven Necklace
I’m giving this Gothic Raven Necklace to someone, but not because I like them. It’s cuz I want to give them the bird and also cuz I lost my bird-giving fingers in an accident. The accident was letting that guy see me flipping him the bird. So he made sure my birds never took flight again by bending them back. My birds are in casts. Oh, they’ll fly again. And when they do it is going to be majestic.
This Area 51 Wood Sign Does Not Exist
I’m gonna hang this Area 51 Wood Sign outside of my room so that no one will disturb me while I’m reverse-engineering UFOs and doing remote viewing experiments. Pffft! I remote view all the time. It’s not like I can channel surf without a remote. Duh! Anyway, that stuff is all classified. I’ve said too much. My room does not officially exist, but that’s mostly cuz it’s my mom’s basement. Gotta go. There’s a telepathic abducting butt-pirate in a cage and he owes me some answers about a warp drive in exchange for a Twix bar.
Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses
Whiskey. It’s what’s for dinner! That probably explains why my liver is the size of a- Wait. Where’d it go? Got so small it disappeared. One more drink outta bring it back. Check out these Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses. They have the opening lines of the books right there on the glass. Pretty cool. Now I can get literate while I’m getting s**t-faced. AKA s**t-erate! They have Frankenstein and Dracula. Hopefully they will add more so I can catch up on my reading while I’m pounding one back.
Skull Bottle Chandelier
Hey guys, if I ever want to turn the light on and trip balls, remind me of this Skull Bottle Chandelier. Deal? Cool. It’s the Grim Reaper’s disco ball. He’s doing the disco duck and he don’t give a… cluck! It’s like the supreme counsel of the universe just teleported in for a visit and said, bodies? Where we’re going we don’t need bodies! Just bring your head and enjoy the ride. The supreme leader of intergalactic buttholes has his skull projected on the ceiling. Yes my master! What is thy bidding?