I’m gonna hang this Area 51 Wood Sign outside of my room so that no one will disturb me while I’m reverse-engineering UFOs and doing remote viewing experiments. Pffft! I remote view all the time. It’s not like I can channel surf without a remote. Duh! Anyway, that stuff is all classified. I’ve said too much. My room does not officially exist, but that’s mostly cuz it’s my mom’s basement. Gotta go. There’s a telepathic abducting butt-pirate in a cage and he owes me some answers about a warp drive in exchange for a Twix bar.
Tag: area 51
Roswell Alien Refrigerator Magnet
This Roswell Alien Refrigerator Magnet will be a great dietary tool for me, cuz everytime I go in the fridge for a snack, I’ll be reminded that aliens probe human butts. And I don’t want any of that bizz.
You know what, I really want some ice cream. Oh no! Not the alien head again. Their version of Double Fudge Delight is not the same as mine. And it involves a cold table and weird alien tools. Yeah, I’ll just go hungry.
Area 51 Coasters: The Truth Is Out There
I’d like to tell you about these Area 51 Coasters, but the place doesn’t officially exist. Nope. There’s nothing there but desert. If you think you saw something it was only a mirage. That’s what the nice men wearing black told me. Yep. So that’s how it is. I didn’t see anything. I was never there. Those men were never here questioning me. They said so. I never saw no stinking UFO wreckage, there was no alien corpse and if I think there was, that’s gonna be the end of me.
Alien Invasion Collectible Motion Guitar Picks
Aliens like to rock too and now they want to help mankind with these alien face guitar picks. These guitar picks have aliens on them, allowing you to rock like your tour-bus UFO just crashed in Roswell. It probably has a tracking device inside that marks you for abduction, because you know, they are recruiting for an intergalactic band.
Why an anal probe and medical procedures are part of the interview process, I have no idea.