Tag: novelty

Book of Spells Altered Composition Notebook

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Book of Spells Altered Composition Notebook
This Book of Spells Altered Composition Notebook is not to be confused with The Book of Smells, which sounds like a cool scratch and sniff book, but really it’s just an old notebook I sat on one night when feeling gassy. And that’s how that book got it’s name. We keep it under a glass dome and try not to upset it.

No, I’m pretty sure this one helps you spell stuff, so your English teacher would approve. What? Really? It’s about magic spells? Sweet! Abra Cadabra, I just saw a Chupacabra! *Looks out my window* It worked! It worked!

Medusa Snake Wig

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Medusa Snake Wig
Oh thank God! I thought that was my ex wife at first. Definitely not her though, because the snakes this Medusa Snake Wig are not moving and she isn’t b*tching at me to take out the trash. Jesus, I can only move so fast. I’m doing it already. Call your Vipers off.

And stop letting them bite my ears so they can pull me in for a kiss.

That’s okay, when I divorced her, I took half her snakes,which left her with just a snake mohawk.

Weird Dolls From Artist Sandra Arteaga

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Weird Dolls From Artist Sandra Arteaga
Some people make dolls that look like cute little girls, others make weird dolls that look like a pair of lungs. Can you guess which Sandra Arteaga is? She makes unique sculpted and paper dolls. Some have a great set of lungs on them. All are varying degrees of nightmare fuel. Yeah, I wasn’t gonna sleep tonight anyway. Just gonna soak my liver in alcohol until I pass out and see this stuff behind my eyelids.
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Dinosaur and Jesus Christmas Ornament

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Dinosaur and Jesus Christmas Ornament
It’s never too early to start planning your Christmas tree. This year I’m gonna let a dinosaur and Jesus duke it out with this Dinosaur and Jesus Christmas Ornament set. It’s the fight of the millennium. The ultimate smackdown. It’s dino vs deity! The Jurassic vs the Jesus! Who am I kidding? It lasts about 3 seconds and ends with Jesus hurling a meteor. He learned that trick from his dad. That’s dinosaur pest control in action.

Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures

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Weird Doll Animal Hybrid Figures
These Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures are so f***d up I had to drop my glass of whiskey and get a glass of vodka. What the hell is wrong with you people? Animals and Barbies do not mix! Do you want God to come back and barbecue us all in blazing hellfire? Cuz this is how you get God to come back. Damn twisted Etsy scientists.
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