Tag: novelty

Coffin Makeup Brush Holder

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Coffin Makeup Brush Holder
Your current makeup look? It’s dead. Time to eulogize it and bury it in this Coffin Makeup Brush Holder. Then apply some more and let it rise like a Phoenix and cover your face anew. Your old look was Tammy Faye Baker? Your new look can be Tammy Faye Undertaker. Your makeup is only as good as your makeup holder ladies. Behind every pretty face is a coffin.

Oh damn, that sounded like something a serial killer would say. Forget I said it. The point is, this is a cool makeup case. Cool, cuz coffins are buried deep. Yeah, that sounded weird again. Okay, stop looking at me like I’m a freak now. I didn’t mean it like that. You try talking about a coffin makeup holder and see how you sound.
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Classic Movie Monsters 8 Bit Pixel Art

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Classic Movie Monsters 8 Bit Pixel Art
This Classic Movie Monsters 8 Bit Pixel Art is scary. Video game style monsters just freak me out. I’m gonna decorate my house with these guys and pretend I’m in a video game with them. I’ll be all Sonic, running super fast and they’ll be doing their slow monster shuffle. Then my mom will probably turn the game off and tell me to get to school just like she did when I was a kid.

These days she turns my internet off and tells me to get a job. Then she uses phrases like “40 years old” and “Do you enjoy living in your mother’s basement?” She needs to get her priorities straight and focus on work, so I have a place to live. Damn.

Colorful Anatomy Coasters

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Colorful Anatomy Coasters
I like to bring out these Colorful Anatomy Coasters when I have guests. It’s a visual illustration of which body part I will harm if they don’t use the coaster and stain my furniture. Here, have a nice skeleton hand coaster. What? You set your drink on my tabletop and left a mark? Oh well, the coaster was the warning. *Hits their hand hard*

Nah. I would never cause anyone bodily harm. Except for myself obviously, by eating a pound of Cheetos everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Lovecraftian Horror Portal

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Lovecraftian Horror Portal
Getting hungry. I’ll just make myself a nice little healthy salad with some- WHAT IN THE TENTACLED HELL? WHAT FOUL DEMON POURS INTO THIS REALITY FROM YONDER PORTAL? Oh, it’s just another Lovecraftian horror. Phew. Ever since I got this Lovecraftian Horror Portal, horrors have been busting in like Kramer on Seinfeld. *Quickly makes a sandwich. Tentacles scoop it up and retreat back where they came from.*
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Body Parts Coffee Mugs

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Body Parts Coffee Mugs
What the deuce? Would someone please ex-spleen what it is I’m seeing? Oh. These are Body Parts Coffee Mugs? Cool. That explains why that one is shaped like a kidney. You get PANCREAS, HDL, KIDNEY, STOMACH, TRIGLYCERIDES and MUSCLE. I have no idea what the hell HDL is. Human dingus liposites? Have no idea, but that sounds painful.

What’s next? A limited edition rectum stein? If so, I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled. FYI: Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s prototype monster. I can see why he tried again. The name alone is not encouraging. Oh wait. I’m wrong. Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s brother. Yeah, he was into a bunch of strange stuff. You don’t want to know about that guy’s monsters.
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