This Krampus Fiber Optic Christmas Tree Topper makes your tree look effin metal man. Krampus just wants to sit on top, check out your gifts, maybe ask for a sacrifice now and then, which is usually a Kit-Kat or Snickers. Hey, he’s a diva when he’s hungry. I just throw the candy at him and tell him to shut his Kramp-hole.
Tag: odd
Cyborg Skeleton Bookends
In the future man will do battle with deadly cyborgs, decapitating them and decorating with their bio-mechanical heads. Behold Cyborg Skeleton Bookends. They say, “When not out killing cyborgs to survive a harsh wasteland-hell existance, I like to sit and enjoy a good book with a cup of tea. Otherwise if I see a robot, I murder it.”
These are going to look cool with all of my big-boy books that i don’t read cuz no pictures. I’m gonna set them up, one of each side of my books, then when they least suspect it, gonna remove the books and slap their heads together 3 stooges style. Quiet ya numbskull!
Vampire Bat Sculptural Box
This Vampire Bat Sculptural Box will make ya squee like a little bat. But if it makes you flap your wings and fly around the room, you’ve gone too far. This bat will hold all of your little trinkets and baubles and do-dads. Not sure if it will hold your whatchamacallits. It’s bat-tastic. It’s batting a thousand. It’s bat-s**t crazy. Swing batter batter. Time to batton down the hatches. Quick, to the bat cave robin! Wait, was that the phone? Nah, you just heard my batarang! And with that, I’m off to adjust my meds.
Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest
I wonder what’s in that Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest. It’s got chains so you know there’s something dangerous and horrible lurking within. Maybe a blood dragon! Wait! What is a blood dragon? A dragon who feasts on blood? A dragon who volunteers at the blood drive. An anemic dragon? The possibilities are endless. Man, I hate mysteries! I want to open it! I must know! Okay guys, I’m going for it. One. Two. Three. Opening the lid-
Uhhhhh. Yeah, I can’t really talk about what I just saw. Words can not describe it. Think horror on the level of all three golden girls naked and engaging in group activities that are just plain wrong, when George Costanza walks in… then add a blood dragon. *shudders*
Sasquatch Scary Peeper
This Sasquatch Scary Peeper will give your friends and family a Bigfoot sighting. Also, possibly a heart attack.
The Squatch is at your window creepin’,
The Squatch is at your window peepin’,
The Squatch is peeping at your door,
The Squatch is pooping on your porch floor.
And he ain’t cleaning it up either, cuz Bigfoot don’t carry bags with them to clean up their doo-doo. It’s up to you and me. I just wish he wouldn’t eat so much. It’s all huge and steaming. TMI I know. You can’t catch him. You can’t prove he exists. You just gotta clean up after him.