Damn girl. These Custom Ouija Board Heels are looking good. You are definitely communicating with my spirit. Oooooo baby, move your planchette all over my board. Ask me anything. I’m not sure if they will fit you though. Are you a medium? That’s just a little paranormal joke. These shoes have soul baby, but when you put your feet in them, they are sole crushing. Get it?
Tag: shoes
Horror Movie Monster Shoes
Love these Horror Movie Monster Shoes. I just walked a mile and boy are my monsters tired. These shoes are killing me! That’s because they are full of movie serial killers and monsters, so that’s not totally unexpected. What was unexpected? That Chucky is on them and they aren’t Chucks. These shoes also have no soles. Because Freddy stole them all.
Hahaha. I’ll be here all week people! I’ll be lonely, but I’ll be here.
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Platform Spider Web Studded Skull Boots
Uh-oh, here come’s the black widow. You can tell by the shoes. These Platform Spider Web Studded Skull Boots are for warrior widow women with wearable webs. Try saying that three times fast. They have spider webs all over and skulls in back. Kinda like a cemetery really. I guess you could say she’s got webbed feet. Heh. I made a funny. Forget Doctor Scholls. These are Doctor Skulls. This is some fiendish footwear my friends. If you see a woman wearing these, she’s trouble. You’ll get caught in her web and be a snack.
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JAWS Shoes: We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Shoe Box
It’s time to slip your feet into some sharks. These JAWS shoes will be available this summer. My feet are fearful. My tootsies are terrified. My ten little piggies are bloody chum in the water! June 20th, 2016 is the 41st anniversary of the movie JAWS, so Sperry shoes are releasing a line of JAWS themed footwear. They will be available for order online as early as next month starting May 5th. They will be in retail stores soon after on June 9th.
The shoes are wrapped in blood-soaked tissue paper. Apparently, with each shoe purchase, you will get some postcards in the packaging. You can check out several of the designs here. Pretty cool. Great for sharkin’ around. One minor gripe. They really should have some fins so I can feel like I really have tiny sharks on my feet. That way, I can sing the shark theme while I walk and creep up on people like sharks do. And since my shoes can’t bite, I’m just gonna have to kick them really hard. Not my fault. It was the shark shoes. Not safe to go in the water? It is now not safe to go on the sidewalk. Blame my twin shark feet, both named Bruce.
Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars
Yo, guy in hockey mask. If you are gonna wear the mask, you might as well have shoes to match. And these Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars make a killer statement. They say, ” I kill people, but I still care about fashion and style. I’m deranged, but I’m also hip. I’m unhinged, but I care about my appearance.” So get these shoes you machete wielding freak!