Unicorn Skull Mask

Unicorn Skull Mask
Here’s why unicorn masks like this Unicorn Skull mask might not be a good idea:

That’s one kick-ass unicorn mask ya got there, honey. It really looks awesome. Hows about a kiss? Just lean forward and- Owwwwww! My eye! My eye! Blood everywhere! An eye on the tip of your horn! Now I’ll never be able to use the Oculus Rift and experience awesome VR! On the other hand, I hear that monocles are a thing again thanks to those damn dirty hipsters. Oh well. Time to shop the cyclops shop for a new eye. Maybe something in blue.

Unicorn masks. Beware! They are not a good idea!

In the kingdom of the blind, a one-eyed man is king. Until a unicorn takes his one eye out anyway. This dark unicorn skeleton necklace is a much safer. choice You can proudly wear the skeleton of this majestic creature and marvel at the wonder of this magical being. It is a great piece of goth jewelry that is much less likely to take your eye out, while catching the eyes of others.  By the way, is it weird that this mask kind of turns me on? I do like a cute girl in unicorn wear.
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Evil Clown Skull Heels

Evil Clown Heels
Evil Clown Skull Heels. Nice shoes Bozo! Surprisingly they are not huge like clown shoes. According to the seller they are technically “evil clown shoes with glitter soles”. But no souls of their own until they take yours. Through your feet, which will look like a carnival of horrors.

I’m pretty sure the devil wears these. Not Prada. But won’t know until I check the wife’s shoe collection.

Realistic Skull Dish

Realistic Skull Dish
Hey skull dish, I’m gonna put candy in your brain hole and let people pick your brain. I just think it will be weird. Gotta keep my reputation as the local weirdo after all, or as the local police like to refer to me. “Code 71. Named for the year of my birth. Which I may be lying about just to throw you all off. I may be 60 years old. Then again I may be 22. Blog stars need privacy is all I’m sayin’.

*Screech. Crackle.* All units be advised. We have a code 71 in progress. Now the damn fool is making dogs eat from some kind of fake skull in the park, which is attached to his shirt making it look like he has a skull head. It is making old people vomit. Use of deadly force is authorized. Please use deadly force.

Human Skull Planters

Human Skull Planters
I need these Human Skull Planters like I need a plant growing out of my head, but I have to admit, dude’s got a nice set of hair. It’s all living matter up top, and nothing but dead skull below. At the very least it will scare some kids this Halloween.

I would have put a mini planter under the jaw, just so I could give him a little Chia Pet beard, but that’s just me.

Crazy Alien Skull Statue

alien skull
Damn! This Crazy Alien Skull Statue is freaking me out. This would be a kick-butt home to the world’s most badass hermit crab. Can you imagine a crab walking up to you wearing this thing as a house? That is some end times apocalypse stuff right there.

With or without a crab, this thing will look awesome on your desk. Cuz you know, freaky alien skull.

Fun fact: Like the hermit crab, my hips can anchor in my doorway, but I’m just not strong enough to carry the house yet.