Tag: sleep

Hoodie Pillow: The Hoodie And Pillow In One

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Hoodie Pillow
The Hoodie Pillow is a hoodie and also a pillow. Do you toss and turn? (*British accent* You bloody tosser!) Not anymore. If you toss and turn in this thing you’ll be taking the pillow with you.

Another bonus is that every time you lay down, you will look like Eminem from 8-Mile. Or some crazy assassin from a video game who needs sleep badly. Perfect for narcoleptics who could fall asleep at any moment. When you feel those Zzz’s coming, just fall back against the nearest wall and your head is cushioned for sweet dreams.

The Hoodlum: A Sleeping Bag For Your Head

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Hoodlum A Sleeping Bag For Your Head
Get off my lawn you hoodlum! NOW I know what that crazy old guy was talking about? He was afraid I would wrap my head in it’s own sleeping bag and nap on his lawn. The jokes on him. After I left, I doubled back and slept on his porch while he was watching Matlock. No reason really. It was tiring eating that Big Mac and large fries.

Why did you walk to McDonalds?

I didn’t. Dude’s house was a rest stop between me and the car. I get winded after like 30 feet. I’m bringing this thing with me next time so my face stays all toasty.
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They Live Latex Mask: Formaldehyde-Face!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

they live latex mask
Obey, Conform, Consume, Sleep. “The man” is always telling us what to do and subtly mind-controlling us. “The man” aka these aliens from They Live.

You, reading this. You’re okay. This one: real f**n’ ugly. Well, I’m here to expose these formaldehyde-faces. I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. Because I care about my teeth is what I’m saying.

Aw, screw it. I’m too lazy to fight the secret powers that be. All I know is this guy looks like his head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957, but if you want to become one of our elite secret masters, you can buy this nicely detailed mask for $54.(Or 54 “Your God” notes) on Etsy.