Thanks for the Macaroni And Cheese Soap grandma. I see you’ve been grocery shopping on Etsy again. That explains the various craft items in the fridge. I also noticed that you parked in the above-ground pool again. You were right, that was a sudden rain storm that was over as soon as it began. I’ll just take your keys now.
Because of you I can’t eat my macaroni in the tub anymore. I keep putting the soap in my mouth and washing my junk with the cheesy Kraft stuff.
We’ve all been there. You get out of the shower and you wipe your face on your towel and for some reason it smells like butt. Eh, probably nothing. Just keep wiping. A few hours go by and you find a small constellation of hemorrhoids forming on your lower lip. Now you got butt-crud all over your face. All because someone else used your towel as dental floss for their crack.
The Butt Face towel will solve this problem. It has a clearly defined butt zone and a clearly defined face zone. Keep that butt-funk where it belongs. Only $13.27 from Amazon. Get some Butt Face soap too.
Nothing is worse than moldy bread. It means no toast for you today. You can either throw it out or just let it grow into nice thick green slices and take notes like a scientist. Then you can throw it out for the birds to eat and be a scientist all over again when those birds trip balls for a few hours. Good times. My lawn was like a living flapping nightmare that day.
Anyway, wash yourself with this bar of moldy bread soap for $6.95. Just don’t confuse it with your real moldy bread.
This Flying Spaghetti Monster soap is an amazing rasta-pasta at a supa low costa. Only $6. It is even Vegan. It looks like two worms grabbing a wad-full of dirt. Because that’s what worms do. They eat dirt and poop it out of their butts.
Read more “Get Cleaned Up, Creeped Out: Flying Spaghetti Monster Vegan Soap”
Just try and get clean using these bars of hairy soap. It’s always nasty to reach for the soap and find somebody else’s pubes. Just imagine reaching for this soap and finding out that Chewbacca has already been there first, washed his junk and then cleaned his crack real good. Nasty.
Read more “Ewwwwwww! Hairy Soap”