Eraserhead Baby Cake

Eraserhead Baby Cake
Remember that Eraserhead Baby Figure? Yeah, somebody made a cake. Debbiedoescakes made this abomination. I wonder what it tasted like. Does it erase your taste buds? I’m kind of sad I didn’t get a slice. It was probably made for some freaky wedding or something. If that’s the case, you might say that this is the David Lynch-pin in their relationship.

Maybe it was made for a baby shower for a real ugly baby. If I had an eraserhead, I’d be writing in pencil and correcting all kinds of grammar. C’mere you little freak! *Rubs his head against the paper until there’s nothing but a nub left.*

via Dangerous Minds

Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp

Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.

Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.

Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace

Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch
It’s always tentacle time when you wear this Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace around your neck. Is it ten-tacle past five yet? I have an important appointment. Funny behind the scenes fact: At first I typed “I have an impotent appointment.” But that isn’t true. I can assure you that everything is working fine here. I repeat I AM NOT seeing a wiener doctor because my Ballpark frank is stuck in cocktail weenie mode. Glad we could clear that up.

So anyway, this is a sweet ass pocket watch with an octopus. That you can wear around your neck. Pry open those tentacles and you get to see the time even. We live in an amazing time. I mean, hell, doctors these days can cure anything- No, I didn’t mean- Trust me, I’m all good down there. But if I wasn’t, it would only happen that one time. Perfectly normal!
Read more “Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace”

Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder

Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder
Where’d that Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder come from?

Hey Grim Reaper. What are you doing here, holding my TP for me?

Well, I was in the neighborhood and it smelled like death so…*shrugs*

I hear ya. I really gotta eat more fiber and roughage.

Where there is the smell of death, I am summoned.

Yeah, I thought I saw you for a sec when I was taking that 3 alarm dump in the woods last week. I knew I recognized those glowing red eyes. And last month when that cabbage fart nearly wrecked my jeans. I just wanna say thanks for looking out for me. Thanks for being there. You might want to clear up your schedule for Saturday night. All you can eat Mexican night. See ya then.

Evil Bunny Backpack

Evil Bunny Backpack
This Evil Bunny Backpack is freaking me out. There’s a rabbid rabbit on my back. A horrible hare! And he’s wearing punk clothing. You’ve heard of the Easter Bunny right? Well, this guy is a feaster bunny. He’s gonna feast on your soul. Get it off my back! Get it off! Is it gone? Thank God. You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. Did you see that thing? The least it could do is wipe some of the crud off it’s mouth. Guy looks like he had an all you can eat buffet at Three Mile Island!