Tag: style

Dress Of Exploding Horses

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etsy paper horses dress
This Dress Of Exploding Horses knocked that woman right on her butt! She had a nice fancy dress on and was just minding her own business, when BAM. The four horses of the apocalypse exploded out of her boobs. Shizz just got real! I think there are four. It’s just a mess of horses all jockeying for position. And now she’s on her butt. That’ll teach ya to be a little girl and dream of ponies. Be careful or your dreams just may come true in unexpected ways girls.

*Changes out of the My Little Pony shirt immediately* What? Best to be safe. I don’t need Rainbow Dash exploding out of my chest like an alien. Friendship ain’t that friggin’ magical!
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Mirrorman Suits

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mirrorman suit
Behold the mighty Mirrorman! His super power? Reflecting every got-damnned thing with his suit. He is the ultimate “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you!” superhero. Light. Check. Images. Check. Hammer. Oh man, sorry about that dude. How many tiny mirrors you got on that suit? About 1000? What’s a 1000 times 7? Oh poopy! That is A LOT of bad luck!

That suit is like a black hole of bad luck just waiting to happen. Of course it was me. Why in the HELL would you walk around with that thing? That is irresponsible on like a cosmic level! You can’t just give out that kind of atomic bomb luck!

Oh hell! Just stepped on a nail. Whew! That was close. Shoe stopped it. Anyway- *Gets hit by a football, which bounces onto a nearby car going 80. Car swerves. Hits me into Mirrorman, who cuts me like a million times and gives even more bad luck. Plus, I gotta pay for that suit now!* WTF?

Check out another suit below. Screw this guy!
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Freddy Krueger High Heels

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freddy krueger high heels
One, two, Freddy’s got a new shoe. Three, Four, his ankles are sore. Well, when you see Freddy in dreams you’re bound to see him wearing everything at some point. The last time I saw Freddy he was wearing a cow-print moo-moo over a bikini. Dreams are messed up! He knows what I like. I’ll say that.

These Freddy Krueger High Heels will let you walk all over Freddy. Literally. They have melted Freddy flesh in front, the stripes from his sweater and claws in the back. They are probably cushioned with the soles of his victims. Soles. Heh. I know what you’re thinking. What the heel kinda joke is that? Just a little something I cobbled together. Shoe humor. Don’t judge me. At least not until…

Get it? Who gets it? I am a friggin’ rock star. The guy outside 7-11 was right. These meds really work. Just found my new doctor!
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Ribcage Hand Tooled Leather Skeleton Corset Belt

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leather skeleton corset
The Ribcage Hand Tooled Leather Skeleton Corset Belt will make it look like you are getting a permanent X-Ray. Every guy who checks you out will want diagnose you. Can’t be helped. Just trying to be helpful and spot any potential problems.

Can you step in front of that light please? *studies the ribs* Hmmmm. Interesting. *calls another guy over* What do you think of that? I agree, that could be a problem. Now get out of here. I need some alone time with the patient. I suggest we operate right away, because I’m a smooth operator. Surgeon? No, I’m no surgeon honey. I thought you said, “Sir, gin”. So, where’s my gin? Nevermind. I’ll have to operate quickly, making it as painless as possible. You other guys can watch and learn. *Clears throat* Well, hello there. Can I have your number? See, you’ve got my heart all locked up in your ribcage. I think we can sort this out by getting together this Saturday night. *Wiggles eyebrows*
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Bat Winged Tooled Leather Belt And Boots

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bat wing belt
Unleash your inner Batgirl with a bat belt paired with some bat boots. Or your inner Goth girl. Whichever you prefer. I think this might be from the Wednesday Addams collection. Didn’t that go on sale on Thursday? I have no idea. I’ll check with my gal Friday. Anywho, if you want to look badass, you have to wear bats.

Bats are totally in this season. They aren’t just a motif for rich guys who hunt criminals in Gotham by night. Bats are awesome! Bats are insane! Bats are bat-tastic!
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