I’ve seen my share of maggots. Don’t ask. But I’ve never seen a Monster Maggot before. I’m not even sure what to say about it. Cuz only bad things rhyme with maggot. And since that’s the grade level I’m at, I’m kind of at a loss. It’s a cyclops maggot cuz it only has one eye. Those teeth look pretty sharp. The face is pretty ugly too. Which is exactly what my dentist says to me. Followed by “Shhhh. Sleepy time now.”
Tag: unique
Horror Metal Art Bookends
These Horror Metal Art Bookends are cool. Now the question is, what kind of books to display with them. Hmmmm. I feel like I’m missing something here. What kind of books would go well with horror bookends? I don’t know. I’m stumped. But I do know that these bookends are going to look awesome in your home. Maybe put some horror books in them or something. Hey, I answered my own question! Horror!
Gothic Child In A Coffin
This Gothic Child In A Coffin is… Well he’s gone. RIP little dude. Don’t worry, it isn’t real. But don’t tell black hooded, stitchy, smiley face there. He’s still in mourning. This would make a great display piece in your haunted house, mausoleum or house of horrors. Now, let us have a moment of silence for this little Gothic guy………………….*Farts* I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh. I had a huge lunch. No disrespect intended- *Squeeeeaaaaaak* I’m just gonna show myself out. Nobody light a match.
I Want to Believe UFO Ugly Christmas Sweater
I know what you’re thinking. I want to believe, but I just haven’t been butt-probed yet. Fair enough. If that’s the case, this I Want to Believe UFO Ugly Christmas Sweater is the perfect sweater for you this holiday season. It tells people where you stand on the whole alien proctology issue.
I hear ya. Isn’t it a little early for Christmas? Maybe. But how do you know I’m not late for last Christmas?
Zombie iPhone 7 Case – The Texting Dead
This Zombie iPhone 7 Case is compatible with iPhone 5/5s, 6/6s, 7/7s. Looks like it could use some toothpaste. A little flossing wouldn’t hurt either. Damn son, you got some nasty choppers. I hope it doesn’t bite my finger when I answer my phone. I just feel like I want to do some reconstructive surgery on him, like one of those forensic guys. See what he looked like before he was turned into a rotting walking corpse.
Oh nevermind. I should have recognized Joan Rivers right away. Hey Joan. What up? Thanks for protecting my iPhone with your head.